


sun and moon

by comeon_toparadise



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, this is shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 06:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18614671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comeon_toparadise/pseuds/comeon_toparadise
Summary: a story like ours does not have a happy ending.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted on wattpad!

_Star lit cheeks with the rosiest blush blooming on them. Dainty feet gliding across the dark, shiny surface of the Leian River, amethyst apparel loosely hugging freckled shoulders._

 

_Magnificent brown eyes reflect off the ominously bright moon, dark long lashes gently flitting across umblemished pale skin. Ringing, soft laughter as tender as the fluttering wings of a dove's while chatting with the women who appear as servants._

 

_Who are you? I am curious, because you do not seem real._

 

_However, I do not think I can show myself to you, for fear that you may disappear once I get too_ _close—_

 

Changbin stops writing, the sudden abruptness of his actions causing the ink to slightly smear across the smooth, hardened surface of his letter—just one of the many letters he has no plan on making public anytime soon.

 

His dark brown eyes fall on the paper in front of him, his present situation making itself known unto him there and then. 

 

_What am I doing?_ He asks himself, acutely self-aware that he's currently inside the room he calls his own, the darkened area lit up by a candle at the corner flickering side to side, writing unsent letters to and about an unknown male he stumbled upon around two weeks ago.

 

It sounds absolutely crazy and nonsensical now that Changbin thinks about it, but his mind has apparently somehow lost its connection to his dominant hand's fingers, because they keep moving with their free will against the surface of the paper.

 

_You are beautiful_.

 

Changbin's fingers write what he thinks, and he decides to stop for today, contemplating for a brief while whether he should throw away this letter or not.

 

He decides against it at the last second, however, like he's done countless times before during the past few weeks, hands meticulously folding the paper in half once the black ink has fully dried. The candle's continues to flicker, but it has also dimmed considerably. It is then that Changbin wonders if his mother's asleep, since the bright full moon is completely out, coating the inky expanse of the sky with its presence.

 

Despite the darkness that is outside, it is not fully quiet in the advanced kingdom of Gelida. Changbin can almost hear the distance chatter from the common towngoers, excited feet shuffling against the grounds as they go about their nightly walks or gossip positive, _and_ negative news about the King, or the other royals inhabiting the Gelidian castle.

 

Changbin has only caught sight of the pristine castle once—has never been close enough to enter, or be invited to one of their many splenderous ceremonies—but his mere glance upon the pearled gates, moonstoned floors and honeyed golden exterior (made with the interest in mind of the late Queen, because she had a love for all things yellow) had been enough to make him in awe about the place—not that he has any intention of getting a taste of what's inside, though.

 

Changbin is well acquainted with the fact that he's just a measly common towngoer, with no goals or aims in mind but to hunt with his closest friends and take care of his sick mother. Often times it gets a bit repetitive, even though he cherishes his friends and loves his mother, and silent nights spent loitering in more silence has led him into his current 'habit'.

 

The recurring thought about his many letters secretly stacked away into his drawers bring Changbin's thoughts back to the alluring male he had the luck of seeing a blue moon ago.

 

Of course, he has an inkling as to who the unnamed boy might be, his position in society, because his clothes and the way he presents himself, especially with those women who look like servants, do not quite match with a regular commoner's. Changbin settles on the boy being the son of a Lord, or a knight, since he hasn't come across a royal of a higher ranking before, _especially_ not one who frequents the fairly common Leian river known for how dark and deep it turns upon reflecting off the moon's crescent.

 

Changbin wonders if he will get to see the boy again today. This thought persuades him to peer out of his room's opening of a window, noticing how the pathways leading to other dwellings such as his appear empty and lifeless. He wonders if there's another casual celebration today—since he is not the type of person to busy himself with trivial matters like celebrations—or if everyone has decided to call it a night already. He hopes its the latter, because somehow, someway, he doesn't particularly fancy getting spotted by anyone wandering into the confines of the river that's usually closed off to commoners at this time of night. Especially if it is mainly to see someone who is obviously of a higher class than him; someone who is a _male_.

 

Changbin does not waste much time in getting ready and gathering his hunting material—something he can rely on for a suitable excuse if it comes to getting caught—and, after he scribbles a hasty note of his whereabouts for his mother, making sure the herbal tea he prepared for her's near in case she wakes up and needs something to drink, he heads out the darkened house, wisps of his black hair dancing with the midnight breeze.

 

There is something different in the air, Changbin can feel it. It's bordering on excitement and a light uneasiness, despite the silence this area of the town holds. There must have been something going on at the market square—Changbin presumes—or at the kingdom's castle itself. Changbin has a gut feeling that he spotted a few people who did not look like native Gelidians at dawn yesterday. Maybe there's an engagement going on within the castle currently.

 

_Will the boy be there, or at the river today?_ Changbin's mind asks, but he does not get the answer the question because someone's hand makes contact with his shoulder right then, bringing him out of his livid curiosity about the higher-class boy and back into stark reality.

 

"Changbin!" A good friend of Changbin greets, a welcoming smile plastered on his tanned face, and Changbin finds himself smiling too, even though he had no plan of hunting with anyone today. "Didn't think you'd be out today."

 

"Why not, Minho?" Changbin asks in order to conceal the fact that his friend is right, as he usually is. He's known the male since they were children, their families having been familiar with each other way before, and their personalities clicked too—except for the occassional healthy competition here and there pertaining to the hobbies they partake in, like hunting.

 

"You always seem oblivious to what's current in this kingdom, my dear friend Changbin," Minho simpers, arm casually slung around his younger friend's shoulders. His dark grey, almost black, tunic meshes in with the two boy's dull black surroundings, hiding the small trail of tattoos lined along the commoner's right collarbone as it grazes the surface of Changbin's too loose attire, especially for this time of night. 

 

Changbin looks at Minho, studies how the older boy's shoulder-length chestnut hair's lazily pulled back into a lackluster ponytail, which reflects off Minho's laidback and easygoing personality. "How?"

 

"The first daughter of the king, Princess Lee Nayeon's in her first stage of her engagement today. Word's out that many suitors from neighbouring kingdoms have been invited," Minho drawls out, eyes alight with subtle interest in them. Now that Changbin thinks about it, his friend clearly looks like he's heading somewhere, due to his smarter than usual attire. 

 

"Where are you going?" Changbin asks, a bit relieved that Minho won't have to tag along with him to 'hunt'.

 

"The town's square is very much alive. Street food and entertainment is _everywhere_ , because of what is happening at the castle by now. Won't want to miss that," Minho's stance looks elated, his smile widening along with his words. "Wanna come with? Chan's coming along too."

 

Changbin shakes his head. "Not today. Celebrations like these usually take more than a few days, so I won't miss in on the action," he explains, his mind's eye forming a picture of the beautiful boy once again. This time it stays as Changbin replays the freckled male's laugh in his mind over and over again. 

 

"But _still_ ," Minho presses, handsome face forming a frown, "I'm sure the hunting can wait for a little bit. We'll drop off your equipment at your house and gather at the square with Chan and enjoy a friend's night out for a while. I promise it won't be long."

 

"I—" Changbin pauses, an internal war forming within him. On one hand he wants to cast his eyes upon that male again, whoever he is, but he also doesn't want to seem suspicious to his highly inquisitive friend. Finally, he sighs, giving in to Minho. "...Okay. But it won't be long."

 

"It won't be," Minho mirrors. "Come on."

 

_______

 

Felix feels trapped, a bit disturbed, coupled with feeling as if an array of jittery butterflies are busying themselves with jumping around in his stomach. He is doned in this downright sparkly attire loaded with a lot of green, and embroided with even more green—a faded shade of chartreuse, actually—which is to celebrate the event that is his older sister Nayeon finding out which one of her suitors is most compatible with her, as her favourite colour is emerald green.

 

His sister is nervous too, but hides it well as she greets her potential suitors, clad in a flowy and long beautiful dress with a shy shade of the emerald colour that hugs and exposes part of her untainted shoulders. Her face has been done by expert stylists, silver and green themed jewellery hanging off her ears and dainty neck. Her ebony long hair is pulled upwards as loose threads of it gently cascade and frame her heart-shaped face. 

 

Felix thinks his sister Nayeon looks as beautiful as she always does, and that this celebration's as elaborate and as intimidatingly splendid as all the other ones inside the castle, but he's getting rather awfully tired of chatting about mundane subjects with other princes, princesses and his sister occassionally, all while being under the watchful eyes of his father the King.

 

"You seem tense," Nayeon tells him a couple minutes after midnight falls, dollish features showcasing a practised smile whenever any royal subject greets or engages in conversation with her. 

 

"I am not," Felix sighs, whispering back to her. "I'm just really tired."

 

"Me too, but I do not really have much choice, do I?" Nayeon chuckles, and Felix finds himself smiling too. 

 

"Are the suitors any good?" Felix says, itching to free his copper coloured curls from the rather stiffening bun they've been restricted to. He keeps his hands fisted though, knowing that he'll get to do that in due time. 

 

Nayeon shrugs. "Most of them act the same, Felix. There's this one from Virian kingdom though. Prince Kim Woojin. Funny guy."

 

Felix nods, laughing a bit. "You can get married to him. Funny guys are a catch."

 

At this, Nayeon rolls her sparkly-lidded eyes, and lightly smacks his troublesome brother's shoulder. "Your mouth is going to get you into trouble one day. What's going to happen when it's your turn to choose a wife?"

 

"Any one will be lucky to end up with me," Felix cheekily answers, his mood dampening in the slightest bit when he catches word of his unavoidable future of getting married to a princess of his choice. He doesn't really want to think about it.

 

Nayeon scoffs, a fond smile taking over her features. "You are crazy."

 

"Crazy is fun." Felix catches sight of another prince making his way to Nayeon to have a dance with her, perhaps. "Another one is coming over here. I think it is the one from the kingdom that's responsible for most of our wine's imports. I am not too sure."

 

Nayeon unconsciously straightens up, bidding a farewell wave to her younger brother as she gracefully takes the hand of the prince offering her a dance.

 

Now that Felix is alone, he bids his time by chatting a bit with the invited guests, eating and drinking in modest amounts to fit in a little more with everyone else. His father is not around, but Felix figures he's probably conversing with some of the more important guests.

 

The prince waits a bit more—just to make sure his presence is not really needed any further—and then takes the first chance he gets to blend in within the shadowed corner of the castle. His steps are quick as he passes the corridor where the servants are gathered, adequately dressed in humble garments dyed in forest green to match with the occassion, managing not to be seen by any of them. They are too busy serving drinks or following higher classed subjects around. 

 

The dining hall that he previously sat at is being emptied, Felix notices as he walks past the area, chuckling a bit when he recollects the foods bordering on exotic he had the 'pleasure' of consuming—one being a plucked peacock.

 

Felix clutches the hem of his obnoxiously lavish chartreuse garment as he ascends up the circular staircase to his room, making sure to make as least sounds as possible. He doesn't want to draw any attention to himself, and the closer he gets to his room the more distant the sounds coming from downstairs become.

 

Felix's nimble fingers close the door behind him as he enters his bedroom, wasting no time in getting rid of his restrictive clothes. He finds himself being thankful there and then that his status as the second child of the Gelidian king is still relatively untold, and that he has a sister that will cover for him whenever and wherever.

 

This is a habit that Felix recently developed; sneaking out late at night to think and watch the moon's light descend on the calm surface of river he has found himself having a liking for.

 

As Felix takes off his tailored celebratory clothes and pulls on a much simpler version with matching boots, one that has a standard dark colour that feels better on his skin than the other one, he removes his hair from the thick ribbon that held it in place before. As his locks become loose he impatiently combs his fingers through them until they finally settle just above his shoulders and lightly tickle his freckled cheeks.

 

In a minute or so, Felix pushes the entrance his window provides upwards, jumping through it and heading down the familiarized path that leads to where he aches to be.

 

The breeze is both cool and teasing, playing with the ends of Felix's hair as he runs through the maze that is the town square's greenery. Just like everything in Gelida, it is well cared for. When the prince picks up on activity going on in the town, he resists the urge to see what it is all about and continues his journey until he gets to the Leian river; the river that turns to the most entrancing version of itself once the moon appears.

 

Felix smiles upon witnessing the river, resting himself upon the coral rocks the line the body of water, their colour almost as dark at the river's complexion during this time of night. Pale fingers linger for a while across the cold surface of the river, its water encasing Felix's open palm, dripping in uneven rivulets when the prince pulls his hand away.

 

Felix decides on taking off his boots and gliding his feet across the body of water, letting his toes dangle on top of the shiny surface as he thinks about everything and nothing at once.

 

He watches the moon, mind blank for a bit as his body starts to relax, and he is glad that being at this river helped him loosen up a little. 

 

That's when Felix hears it—the subtle rustling of leaves and the sharp prick of a broken branch—and when his eyes hurriedly look away from the moon and towards the source of the noise, everything seems to stop. He sees a passing image of something dark, something _human-like_ , and has the unsettling sense that he is not alone.

 

"Who's there?" Felix raises his voice, glad that his tone doesn't betray how worried he actually feels. "Show yourself."

 

The authority in his voice must have caught on to the hidden human, because someone decides to hesitantly appear right then, a short but rather sturdy looking male, and Felix's surroundings seem to be stuck in motion; seem to become impossibly slow.

 

The male's raven coloured hair appears even darker underneath the moon's luminescence, skin having a certain glow to it as his sheer cloth reveals a peek of his well-built upper body, and it certainly doesn't help that Felix's cheeks start to burn then.

 

Felix gathers from the simplicity of the boy who looks around his age's clothes, and the apparent hunting materials settled not too far from him, that he must be a common towngoer, but even with that fact lingering inside his mind, he still feels a certain level of intimidation encountering this stranger.

 

A thick silence dawns upon them, as Felix genuinely doesn't know what to say to the boy, this boy that is bringing about such a strong and strange reaction from him just with his mere presence. His hands fist upon the wet rocks, shoulders tensing up immensely. The gentle sounds of water gushing not too far off does a moderate job of battling the silence.

 

Changbin's theory about the boy in front of the river turns out to be false, because even though the boy seems too unreal to exist, he is still right there, as alluring as ever as wisps of his reddish hair flit around his downcast gaze. The boy doesn't seem real at all, especially not with the moon's eyes forming this spotlight around him; caressing his body with its glow.

 

Without thinking, Changbin takes a step forward, shortening the distance between him and the boy. "...Hey."

 

Despite the authoritative way the boy had called out to Changbin earlier, his voice low and smooth at the same time as it sends pleasant chills down his spine, this ethereal boy seems shyer the more distance Changbin covers. It makes the ravenette more curious than ever about who this boy is, makes him a bit braver to shorten the space between them to a mere few feet. He takes a seat on another rock, its slight discomfort forgotten once the boy's brown eyes meet his.

 

"Hi..." Felix surprisingly answers back, even though he never thought he would. Usually, he has no trouble talking to other people—he actually always wanted to have a conversation with someone who wasn't from the palace for once—but now, it seems he has become tongue-tied. The cold makes his voice a bit unsteady, but the temperature seems to rise the second the boy close to him meets his eyes, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

 

This whole demeanor the boy puts off makes Felix intrigued, and a bit mystified. He possesses a certain strength even when he doesn't speak or _do_ anything, his body's muscular frame attesting to that fact. Before Felix can catch himself, his eyes quickly trace over the boy's face, the same strange yet unwelcome heat that presented itself earlier showcasing itself once more. His stomach bottoms over, insides feeling like jelly as his curious eyes keep taking note of all what makes this unnamed boy a bit more attractive than he was a second prior.

 

Silence surrounds the two boys once more, and then Changbin's breath lightly hitches, because he's thought of meeting this boy beside him many, _many_ times. And now that he is, he wants to say something— _anything_.

 

"Uhm—You seem to like visiting this place a lot. I do not blame you though, since this river's calming," Changbin lets out, eyes widening in the process because he just unintentionally revealed that he has already spotted the boy more than once. He inwardly curses, quickly adding to his detriment, "Not that I spent tonight watching you or anything."

 

Felix looks at the boy once more, steady heartbeat growing a bit more rapid at the words that escape his lips. He takes note of the frenzied state of the boy, the Adam's apple beneath his defined jaw bobbing up and down as he says more words. It amuses Felix yet confuses him too, because of the way his heart is reactive to whatever apology comes out of the raven haired boy's mouth. 

 

Before he can stop himself, he laughs, breaking the tense atmopshere even more, and shakes his head. "No, no, it's okay. No need to apologize for anything."

 

His laughter and smile are as soft and bright as they were two weeks ago, not failing to incite warmth within Changbin's chest and bring about those anxious butterflies. 

 

Changbin nods. "Okay. I admit, it is not my first time seeing you today. You were occupied last time."

 

"...Yeah," Felix voices out, somehow not liking the fact that the boy next to him had seen him with a few of his trusted servants. "I was."

 

"Forgive me for asking, but are they...servants?" Changbin can't help but ask, hoping that the red haired attractive boy won't get bothered by the harmless question.

 

Felix sucks his bottom lip between his teeth. "Yes, they are."

 

"Royal servants? I kept wondering if you were related to a lord," the shorter questions again. He's surely curious, and it mildly annoys Felix, not because he's getting weary of the older boy's presence—because he's anything but—but because he's tired of everyone associating his worth with whatever title he may have. 

 

So when Felix nods, dipping his feet further into the coolness of the river, he only feels a bit guilty. "...I am."

 

He feels the unknown boy's eyes on him, surveying him and his actions, which makes the prince become self-aware and a bit excited. He doesn't know what's causing this sudden onslaught of uncontrollable emotions though. 

 

Feeling a bit braver to talk a little more and change the current topic of his royal status, Felix says, "You should try putting your feet inside the river. It feels really nice."

 

"Really?" The male questions. "It will not feel terribly cold?"

 

"No. Or maybe that is just because I'm used to doing this," Felix smiles, swinging his feet through the river's small waves. "Go on. Try it."

 

Changbin's heart does a leap when his feet glaze the water below his toes, at both the boy's playful words and at the coldness of the river. Nevertheless he dips his feet farther into the cool expanse, biting his lip and forcing himself to feel comfortable with his feet submerged in borderline icy water. 

 

The giggle that leaves the boy next to him is worth it though. 

 

"It's nice, is it not?" Felix says, tone more teasing than he originally intended it to be. 

 

The ravenette beside him stiffly nods, muscles tensing underneath his loose shirt. Felix laughs even more.

 

"You hunt, right?" Felix guesses, gesturing to the bow, arrow and axe not too far away. The boy nods, albeit reluctantly. "Do you only limit yourself to land animals?"

 

"No," Changbin answers with hesitance. He feels a bit inferior talking to someone who's obviously of a higher class than him about _hunting_ , but this beautiful boy seems nothing but curious, with no judgement laced in his gaze. "But during this time the rivers and seas become really unbearably cold to trek through..."

 

"Oh," Felix hums, leaning over to cup a bit of the flowing water with his hand. He stares at the water for a while, before suddenly flinging it towards the totally unaware shorter male. 

 

Tiny drops of it make their mark on Changbin's face and chest, and his eyes expand while Felix throws his head back and laughs louder than he ever laughed at this point in time.

 

"It was accidental!" Felix giggles, eyes crinkling and freckled nose scrunching up in amusement, and Changbin can't help but laugh too. "I am sorry."

 

"I do not think it is though," Changbin replies, copying the taller freckled boy's stance a few moments prior, before flicking his wrist and causing an array of water to 'attack' him.

 

Felix gasps, but he looks nowhere angry. He's laughing as he says, "I think _that_ _,_ was nowhere _near_ accidental."

 

Changbin shrugs, but has to shield himself behind another rock because the taller doesn't cease to drench him with the cold river water once again. 

 

"Oops!" Felix cries, his previous reserved personality forgotten due the adrenaline of the moment, "My hands slipped."

 

The boy's laughter is perfectly special, Changbin thinks, and it does this thing to him that makes him want to hear it over and over again. He stands up and approaches the slightly taller male, unafraid of splashing more water on him. "Your hands slipped indeed."

 

The boy squeals, but he's laughing too, just as eager to get as much water as possible on Changbin too. "Mhm! I'm telling the truth!"

 

Changbin is laughing too by the time he and the boy get distracted by this _game_ they're suddenly playing, but then it dawns on him that he has no name to call the brown-eyed beauty yet.

 

"What's your name?" He settles on asking, shirt sticking to his skin and short hair strands damp as he sits next to the red haired boy. He feels a bit cold though, but the heat exuded from the taller chases it off.

 

The unnamed boy shows no signs of shivering as his hands quickly wring off the excess water from his dark clothing. Blatant excitement wafts off him, slightly damp shoulder-length reddish hair framing his heart-shaped face. His freckled cheeks are bathed in a soft pink as he stares right at Changbin and smiles. "Tell me yours first."

 

Their shoulders are touching now, but no one moves away. Changbin feels a bit light as he takes on the taller's expectant gaze. "...I'm Changbin."

 

"Felix." Felix happily introduces as his and Changbin's wet palms meet in a handshake—a handshake that takes a bit too long to finish, especially for two people that just met that night. Even after they have let go the ghost of their touches still remain.

 

_______

  
Changbin comes back home when the sun barely skims over the horizon, damp attire drying with the early morning wind and a fire growing within him. His heart feels occupied, doesn't stay in one place and won't stop its rapid beating.

Changbin though, does not actually mind. It's still dark when he gets to his house, checking up on his mother and happy to see that she is still sleeping soundly. He is anything _but_ calm at this moment, however.

The freckled boy that he found himself spending the night with won't leave his head. Changbin remembers his laughter, his smiles and his spoken words. Remembers how his red hair appeared more vibrant beneath the moon, and how his feet lightly danced across the river. The way he presented himself to Changbin; this humble, _pure_ way that spoke of no judgement as he asked Changbin questions about himself, and the way he was barely reluctant about starting that water fight with the shorter, does _something_ to Changbin, something that he can't fight off or ignore no matter how hard he tries.

Back then, after discovering that the boy— _Felix_ , a beautiful name fitting for the boy who held it—was actually the son of a lord, it was easy for Changbin to ignore that _that_ part of him existed because Felix was just _Felix_ : someone who did not find it difficult to bring a smile upon Changbin's face.

But now, after Changbin has freshened himself up and changed his clothes, battling with the many thoughts that swirl through his mind, he can't help but ponder over who Felix said he was. Changbin has never met a royal before, much less an offspring of a lord, but he doesn't need to meet one of them before knowing how proud or self-righteous they can be.

But Felix... _did not act like that_. He was nice, treated Changbin well and made him laugh. He made for good company, although he was a bit shy at first.

When Changbin writes yet another letter, words start spilling out of his fingers before he can control it.

_Felix, I like the sound of your name. I had the chance of meeting and talking to you tonight, even though I thought I never would._

_You are even prettier up close, although I feel like I don't have the right to describe you like that, but I cannot help it_.

_Your clothes were a contrast with what you wore two weeks ago, but you still looked absoluetly stunning_.

_Your laughter and smile has become my favourite thing about you, as soft and lovable as you treated me tonight. When you smile I feel happier, and I am fond of the way your eyes brighten ever so often. I do not feel like I deserve writing this about you, however, and perhaps it is wrong of me-_

Changbin doesn't write anything else after that, thoughts in complete and utter disarray. There is nothing on his mind except Felix, and it makes him both troubled and warm. He sighs, putting the unsent letter away while wondering what has gotten to him. Why is he writing letters about a boy like he would about his own lover?

_______

 

"Where were you last night?" Nayeon asks Felix inside her room that morning, her expression too neutral to be normal, considering the fact that her brother was absent for the majority of midnight. She fixes Felix with a curious stare, raising an eyebrow of disapproval when her brother falls on top of her bed and spreads his arms apart while exhaling a huge breath. "Answer me."

 

"You covered for me, right?" Felix asks instead, watching with hopeful eyes at his sister. Although barefaced while seated by a window, clad in a plainer then usual peach dress, her long hair cascading down her face instead of being pulled up like it usually is, Nayeon still looks as proper as she is when she's in public, not a flaw in her expression. She slightly narrows her eyes at Felix, and he decides to compliment her for a bit. "You'll make a great queen, Nayeon."

 

"I covered for you," Nayeon says as if Felix had never uttered his last words in the first place. He pouts, clearly knowing that his older sister is not one that is easily swayed by words of affirmation. "So tell me where you went to."

  
"I went out for a walk," Felix finally settles on saying. He sits straighter when Nayeon just takes a sip of one of her scented teas without a word, all while being the center of her scrutinizing gaze. Her hardened, somehow calculating gaze that most people cower under is the same as their father's own, one that Felix can't imitate even if he tried.

"Last night Father wondered where you were, so I told him you went out with one of the princesses that visited yesterday. Princess Sakura, to be exact." At this, Nayeon's firm composure breaks a bit and a smile makes its appearance due to the flabbergasted expression her younger brother makes. "...What?"

"Nayeon, you could've have given him the name of another princess, _any_ one but _her_ ," Felix shudders, remembering the short 'talk' he had with the foreign princess. It was spent with her talking about and questioning every single thing. In fact, Felix doesn't think he's even _seen_ the princess not moving her mouth and talking the ears off of whoever's listening to her.

"What?" Nayeon quips, smile far _too_ innocent to be considered one, "She's nice."

"She's a chatterbox, Nayeon! You _know_ this because she talked to you during dinner."

"True," Nayeon stops sipping her tea. Her rosy lips lift up at the corners. "But then again, consider this as payback for not informing me of your, might I add, _suspicious_ whereabouts earlier on. You were lucky Father was too busy talking with a few elders by the time you disappeared, so he believed me."

"I just went for a _walk_ ," Felix defends himself, unable to avoid thinking about the boy he talked to after he snuck out of the his sister's ceremony. He remembers how friendly the boy named Changbin was, how _handsome_ he looked too, with his quiet and brooding appearance. He recollects how eager Changbin had been to go along with his little game, how his warm and comforting, steady hands brushed Felix's shoulders and arms whenever they got close whenever they splashed water at each other. "That's _it_."

"You are not that good at lying, Felix, and I'll find out what you're hiding really soon," Nayeon playfully threatens. Felix rolls his eyes, only feeling a slight apprehension at her words.

"Anyway," Felix quickly changes the topic, "how is it going with the picking of your suitor?"

At this, Nayeon perks up, talking about the princes who are too nice it's laughable, then to the ones who are a bit stuck up, and then she starts talking about those who amuse her or made her smile.

"I think you like that prince. Woojin, is it?" Felix says just as someone knocks on the door to her chambers. Nayeon casts him a death glare as she orders whoever they are to enter. They are servants brought to help Nayeon get ready for breakfast with her remaining potential suitors, and Felix already feels mentally drained at the impeccably boring events that are to come.

_______

 

Changbin spends the first half of his day hunting whatever he can with his friends, staying for a few hours inside Chan's house while the male's mother gathers up some herbs that will be sure to help Changbin's mother with her sickness.

 

It's during afternoon when the sun is at its brightest that Changbin watches, underneath the shade of an apple tree with Chan at the at an area close to the town square, as Minho plays knight with a fellow male, wooden swords forming dull thuds with each other here and there. The two boys are too competitive for this time of day, both good with handling swords and at defensive and offensive moves, so much so that Changbin gets a bit tired of watching them, and his thoughts trail off to Felix, once again.

 

"You look a little bit lost there," Chan teases, waving his hands in front of Changbin's face and distracting him from his consuming thoughts. He passes an apple to the younger male and Changbin just shakes his head. "Is it about your mother again? I'm sure she will get better soon."

 

Changbin nods, picking at his fingers just as Minho proclaims victory over the other male. They share a mock celebratory hug, in which Minho pulls the younger male into a headlock and affectionately ruffles his dark brown hair. 

 

Changbin and Chan are amsued as they watch this go on, and Chan lets out, "If I didn't already know you two, I would think you both are lovers!"

 

It's a joke, obviously, and Minho rolls his eyes while the younger boy, Jisung pushes him away as a result. 

 

"You shut your mouth, Chan," Minho warns, "like I'd ever fall in love with someone like _Jisung_."

 

"Like I'd ever love someone like _you_ too, even if you were a woman," Jisung retorts, laughing along with Chan and Minho. Changbin forces himself to laugh and then looks away.

  
"Oh please," Minho says, "if I was a one I'd be downright _irresistable_. I'm even irresistable now." After this he does kissey faces at Jisung, slinging his arm over the shorter boy's shoulders. "Don't you think so?"

"You would be mad if you think I'd like _you_ ," Jisung pushes Minho's face away. "I'm not into _men_."

Chan jokes with the two bickering males for some time, while Changbin feels like he would rather be anywhere but here at this moment. His friends' mocking simpers when talking about who they may or may not love imcreasingly bothers him, so much so that he can't even imagine their expressions if they find out about those letters he writes. It is something Changbin obviously won't make known in the first place, but his friends' conversation make this somewhat _ashamed_ feeling pool up inside him. He feels uncomfortable.

"I need to check up on my mother," Changbin tells Chan, Minho and Jisung once he gets a bit tired of sitting and half-listening to their words. "She will be up about now and I will have to make some food for her."

"Okay. We'll talk to you later," Minho says, tone showcasing how concerned he is, and both Chan and Jisung nod along too.

Changbin recognizes his pulse had been racing only when his heartbeat decreases its pace once he is out of his friends' peripheral vision.

He starts breathing normally again.

_______

 

Despite the residues of Minho's and Jisung's words lingering at the back of Changbin's mind that night, he offers up little resistance against himself as he gets dressed, pulling back any dark troublesome strands of hair out of his face into a loose ponytail, knowing fully well that his mother isn't home tonight because she has choosen to spend her night at Chan's family home instead. 

 

The hooded tunic he wears does its job with protecting him from the biting cold, and soon he exits and heads into the darkness of the night.

 

Taking the route that will lead him to the Leian river, he is happier than he thought he'd be when his eyes fall on Felix's frame perched on one of the rocks. The river's lazy waves gather around the boy's swinging feet from time to time, his eyes focused on the dark river and pink lower lip pulled inbetween his teeth. As usual, the moon accentuates his face, hair and body and forms this picturesque scene in front of Changbin. 

 

This time around, Changbin doesn't hesitate to make himself known to the taller boy. "...I did not think I would see you today."

  
Felix looks startled for half a second, round eyes meeting Changbin's dark ones. He smiles just as Changbin smiles too. "I have time."

"There's a recent celebration going on," Changbin voices out, "something about the kingdom's princess choosing her future husband. I thought you would be there."

Felix's feet sink more into the river, the hem of his trousers getting wet as a result. He doesn't seem to mind. He fixes Changbin with a smile no less than smug. "Would you rather me being there or here?"

Felix's smile is distracting, doing things to Changbin's chest. Those butterflies are back again as he wonders how Felix's hands would feel pressed against his. "..I'm glad you're here."

Changbin's fingers play with the water, as Felix's own had done before, a small smile making its way on his face.

Felix's eyes are on Changbin, drinking in the sight of this ruggedly handsome male beside him. Soft strands of his raven hair fall across his neck, and Felix feels like putting them in place, but stops himself in time.

"You look good in purple," Changbin compliments, catching the prince off-guard.

Felix nods, and chuckles a bit. "And you in black."

"I always wear black."

"And you look good in it."

Their compliments are both casual, but with a deeper meaning interwoven between them, and affect the other more than they realize.

"Thank you," Changbin says after a few seconds, watching how the bright moon reflects off the almost black river.

"And thank you too," Felix says. They both laugh afterwards at how awkward they sound. "...You didn't bring your hunting equipment."

"I have no reason to. I'm not here to hunt." Changbin explains. One of Felix's feet, as unblemished as the rest of him playfully flickers some water towards Changbin's lower body. They laugh again.

"I'm really glad though," Felix says. "That you're around. I enjoyed spending time with you yesterday."

Changbin hopes his hair conceals whatever heat decides to spread throughout his face there and then. "I—I enjoyed spending time with you too."

Changbin copies Felix's movements, landing his bare feet inside the coolness of the river. This time though, he can bear the cold, as it doesn't feel as unbearable as it felt yesterday.

There is a calm silence until Felix gets off the rock, pushing up the fabric of his trousers up to his knees. Changbin watches in silent wonder as Felix pulls out two broken, but rather thick branches.

"This is something that I've always wanted to do, and that is to master sword fighting," Felix says, meeting up with Changbin halfway—since the other male has already stood up—his smile not leaving his face. He looks both excited, skin flush and warm as Changbin makes a show of accepting one of the sticks. "You're welcome."

"I'm being honest. I am not the best at sword fighting," Changbin admits as Felix positions himself into a fighting stance, an offensive one.

"I'm not so great either, but we can just have fun with it," Felix answers. He advances on Changbin as the shorter's hands tighten around his makeshift sword.

It doesn't take long for both males to get lost in a half-serious, half-playful game of sword fighting, both acutely self-aware of their faults and the fact that they're both restricting themselves from being competitive with the other.

Felix makes a hit for the back of Changbin's knee, but the ravenette blocks it, exterting some of his strength on the hit which makes Felix stagger off his footing for a bit. Instinct takes over and Changbin steps in, arms wrapping around Felix's waist before any harm can be inflicted on the prince.

Felix's skin feels as warm as he is, hands holding on to Changbin's arms in a firm grip, both sticks long forgotten at the contact. His gaze locks with Changbin's, and his shocked gaze transforms into a more neutral one.

"I-I didn't want you to fall," Changbin hates the way he stammers, his grip on Felix loosening as the seconds pass. The red haired boy's hands don't leave his arms for a while, but then he steps away.

Felix laughs, suddenly feeling the cool air envelope him once Changbin isn't holding him anymore. _Foreign_ feelings of adrenaline and heat similar to sparks have become alight within him. "Thank you, though. If you did not stop me I would have probably fell and embarrassed myself."

Changbin chuckles too, but at this point in time both males are no longer in the mood for makeshift sword fighting.

"So, tell me about yourself," Felix challenges, not in the slightest bit worried about dirtying his expensive violet trousers as he and Changbin sit on a tree's roots and stargaze. He adds with wiggling eyebrows. "Only if you want to, though."

"Well...My name is Changbin, Seo Changbin, I guess. I'm nineteen years old and I hunt with a couple of my friends in town. Sometimes they sell and earn profit. So...I guess I know a lot...about _meat_...?" Changbin says, drawing out a round of amused laughter from Felix. This easily makes Changbin smile too. "There are not many interesting things to say about me though. I'm rather bland."

"I do not think you are though," Felix tells the dark haired boy, fingers twirling a flower's stem between them. "You're a funny guy, and you seem nice."

The river's waves crescent upon each other, filling in the comfortable silence with their symphonies. Daring small fishes flit above the river's edge once in a while, holographic fins glittering due to the moon above.

"Tell me about yourself too," Changbin voices out, absentmindedly playing with a leaf. "Or is there nothing else about you apart from being named Felix and being the son of a lord?"

Felix's lips quip up slightly at the joke, but he seems to hesitate a little. "Well...I _am_ Felix. And I am younger than you. Eighteen years. I don't really get to do much in the day, except to talk to my sister or having to take complusory classes some days of the week. I enjoy the nighttime, mostly because I get to come here and feel free for a while..."

Felix does not seem that enthusiastic about revealing more though, and Changbin respects that. There are things about him too that he chooses to remain hidden, and they have not known each other for long, after all.

"I find this place freeing too." Changbin stops playing with the leaf and places his hand on the surface of the roots he and the stunning boy next to him are seated on. His and Felix's hands lightly, almost timidly brush, and even as they're both aware, they bask in this blissful oblivion for the time being, finding that to be better than acknowledging reality for a second.

"We'll meet again later this week," Felix tells Changbin at a certain point in time when more stars are out, "I want to see you again."

"Me too," Changbin's index finger and thumb grazes a bit of Felix's hand. It's unintentional, but they both don't seem to mind.

Felix brings up his knees to his chest and buries his head on them. "I'm glad."


	2. Chapter 2

This healthy, fervent buzz that does not seem to want to leave the kingdom of Gelida anytime soon has appeared to have spread unto Changbin.

 

The previously familiarly dull town has become dyed in more vibrant shades in Changbin's eyes, the sky's a more striking blue, the townspeople a bit nicer and the atmosphere a bit easier to take on. The sun seems brighter too, encasing the earth, causing the growth of many things, including this _feeling_ that Changbin harbours whenever the skies dim and the bright moon seeps out of its hiding place.

 

As days pass, so has this sort of friendship that has bloomed between Changbin and this boy known as Felix. With him, it is not difficult for Changbin to escape reality for a while, to escape whatever judgement or hardship he faces. With Felix it is almost a second nature to relax and feel at ease, unafraid to take on the world, an array of possibilities just at his fingertips. With Felix, things seem okay, and life seems to get back on track. 

 

Tonight though, on the first day of a new week, Felix seems more quiet and subdued than usual, casually casting pebbles inside the river, eyes appearing to be someplace else.

 

"Something appears to be wrong," Changbin says to him, wanting to know what's bothering the taller-and potentially solve it for him one way or another. "What is it?"

 

At this, Felix blinks and just shakes his head. "It is nothing, though. I'm just tired."

 

Changbin nods, although he has a feeling Felix is not telling the whole truth. After all, it's really late, and if they were not currently at a lake that always gets its light from the moon, Changbin knew they would have been cornered by darkness. "...Maybe you shouldn't have come today. It's past midnight. You need to sleep, after all."

 

Felix quickly shakes his head and looks at Changbin. He throws another pebble into the river. "No, it's not that. I came here because I wanted to. I came here because I wanted to see you."

 

"So, if it's not that, then what's really troubling you?" Changbin says, before quickly adding, "I don't want to seem nosy, but...I do not like seeing you look so down."

 

The generally windy breeze is calm tonight, almost silent. Changbin can hear nothing except for his and Felix's steady breaths. He stares at the taller boy once more, finding that he can't go for too long without looking at him. It has become something short of an habit, just like those letters of his that he's stacked away inside his drawers. 

 

Tonight, Felix's hair is pulled back, instead of being let loose like he usually lets it whenever they meet at night, and it allows for more access to his face. Changbin doesn't know if he notices, but he likes how expressive his face can be at times, how innocent his features appear. There is nothing about Felix that Changbin has found fault in so far, and he does not think that will change very soon. When a strand of Felix's hair falls across his left cheek Changbin feels like putting it back into its rightful place behind his ear.

 

"Well," Felix begins, feet submerged inside the body of water he's seated close too. It has become something he frequently does now, because it makes him feel at peace, especially with the boy next to him. He wonders if he can dispel information about his palace life, without revealing that he is actually the prince of Gelida. He does not want the older boy to treat him any differently because of it, does not want them to stop their meetings.

 

"My Father-I have already told you how I basically _do not_ have much free time during the day," Felix continues, bringing about a chuckle from Changbin at his tone. The prince chuckles to himself too, although his heart is heavy. "The only time I get to be out of his watchful eye is late at night when most people are asleep. When I first discovered this place, I had came feeling stressed and unhappy, because of many problems that I had where I was-" _Such as my mother's death_ , Felix doesn't say, "but then coming here has led to me feeling happier than before. I _like_ coming here."

 

"I like coming here too," Changbin admits, feeling Felix's eyes on him. "Recently, night...night has become my favourite time of day...because of this place."

 

_And because of you._

 

Those words are unspoken, stuck inside the hearts of both boys instead, but as their shoulders brush and hands meet, such words suddenly aren't needed any longer.

 

Felix inhales a silent breath before abruptly adding, "I think he may be catching on that most of the time I am not around at night, so I do not think we can meet for a few days." His fingers run over Changbin's. "At least until I make sure he is no longer suspicious of my whereabouts."

 

Changbin _should_ expect this, of course he should, because children like Felix aren't allowed to be seen out and about just like that without repercussions, but there is this sinking feeling in his chest that won't go away. "...Of course."

 

"Do not feel angry, Changbin," Felix says, immediately picking up on Changbin's downtrodden tone of voice. At this, the shorter looks at him, and Felix's fingers are no longer too shy to place themselves over Changbin's own. "I hate this as much as you do, because the last thing I want to do is to stop meeting you, but it is only temporary. My father's a stern man, ...someone who becomes ruthless if what he says is not followed. I am sorry."

 

"You do not need to apologize, Felix," Changbin tells the younger, unable to hide the elation he feels at Felix's hand on his. The younger's palm is warm, and is already enough to make Changbin's worries loosen, already enough to make his heart feel alive. "I'm not angry at you."

 

"I feel like you are, though," Felix honestly replies. He loves how Changbin's eyes don't leave him, ignores the worries bubbling inside him at these feelings he has been starting to have for this older boy. It makes him giddy, high on both adrenaline and comfort. 

 

With Felix looking at him like that, brown eyes staring into his, Changbin forgets about whatever his rational, logical mind is screaming at him right then, and instead braves whatever judgement may come his way by pulling out his hand under Felix's and interlocking them instead.

 

For a second, everything seems to slow down as Felix tenses because of the _intimate_ action, but as soon at it comes, it goes. Felix's shoulders then relax, and then, when his head falls on Changbin's wide shoulder, nothing seems more important at that moment than the present. Everything seems to fall right back into place.

 

"I will see you soon," Felix says, voice soft against the emptiness of the night.

 

Changbin smiles, his and Felix's hands not leaving their embrace. He teasingly says, "...How _soon_ is soon?"

 

Felix lightly smacks Changbin's chest with his free hand, but his touch stays there. "I don't know. But I will be back."

 

"I'll really miss seeing you here everyday," Changbin tells the boy leaning against him.

 

"Me too," Felix mumbles. 

 

_______

 

With Felix gone for an indefinite anount of time, Changbin finds his days passing by slowly. He is no longer in this happy state of mind, and everything seems like it has turned back dull and unworthy of acknowledging. 

 

Without Felix, everything seems disorderly, and Changbin does not see anything right with the world. Many things are crashing down, in complete disarray, such as his mother's worsening health. She tells him she's fine and getting better but they both know that it is false.

 

At day, Changbin cannot concentrate, worrying his friends and making them question his actions, and at night nothing is more important than thinking about Felix, and wanting to see him again.

 

His thoughts about the boy border on intimate, as most of what he thinks about is seeing Felix once more, hugging him, holding his hand, _kissing_ him. It worried Changbin before, because it is not common at all for a boy to think about his male friend in such a way, and sometimes it gets to Changbin and makes him feel wrong and strange. Sometimes it makes him feel disgusting, makes him want to hide himself away forever. 

 

But then again, Changbin cannot help it. It is at night that he often finds his mind drifting over to Felix, _longing_ to see his face and talk to him again. Changbin thinks of the younger's smile, his eyes, his lips, the way he laughs and makes him feel- _Alive_.

 

Felix makes him feel alive.

 

Nights without Felix are also spent crafting more and more letters. The more he does this, the more this longing for the taller grows, the more Changbin _falls_ for him.

 

_______

 

With a majority of Nayeon's suitors resting in their rooms and some servants inside their dorms for the night, the atmosphere becomes deathly silent as the King has his dinner with Nayeon and Felix.

 

The table they are seated at is clearly meant for many, causing the silence to become even more unbearable. 

 

As the King shifts most of his food around his plate, eyes narrowing on nothing in particular, Nayeon's eyes meet Felix's own pair from across the table, silently urging him to eat instead of staring at his untouched plate.

 

Felix reluctantly listens, sinking his knife into a piece of meat and using his fork to take a bite. Despite the food being appetizing, as usual, Felix cannot seem to get anything down today. He's not in the mood to eat or talk, because it is nighttime and that is when he gets to spend the hours with the boy he has come to be really fond of.

 

After he forces the meat down, that is when he feels the King's scrutinizing gaze on him, and he pauses in surprise. "Father-"

 

"I have gotten word from one of your tutors that you barely pay attention to them during your evening classes. You get restless, and when night comes you become absent. Is that true?"

 

The table turns even more silent. Nayeon even stops eating. 

 

"That is not true, Father." Felix panics, but fights himself to remain composed. He cannot let his cover be blown and get forbidden from leaving the palace when he wants to. "When night comes, it's when I usually become really tired. I concentrate better in the mornings and afternoons."

 

"Yes," Nayeon adds, but not too quickly that she seems like she is lying. When the King watches her, she gives him a small smile. "Perhaps it would be better to push up his tutoring sessions into midday. You did the same for me, and I found myself focusing better in my classes."

 

King Lee Hyunsik's face is inscrutable for a few tense moments, but then he seems to consider Nayeon's words and shortly nods his head. "...Very well then. Felix," he stares at his son, "I expect your performance to be better this time around. And I also expect you to be in your bed before midnight."

 

"I will, Father," Felix replies, happy that his father does not seem that suspicious of him any longer. 

 

The rest of the dinner is spent with the King talking to Nayeon about something pertaining to attending the kingdom's central arena to watch some knights compete with each other by jousting. Nayeon will have to bring a select few of her favourite suitors with her to the match, which Felix has no problem with, but when the King suggests bringing Felix along, that is when Felix suddenly tunes into the conversation.

 

"I'm coming?" Felix says, not as excited as he forces himself to be. King Hyunsik nods. "For what purpose? It's usually my sister that goes to public settings like those."

 

"Yes," the King hums, "but I want the people to be more familiar with you, son. They will all know who you are sooner or later, so consider this a favour."

 

His tone leaves no room for discussion, and Felix meets Nayeon's gaze. From her expression, she's telling him that any sort of opposition will not seat well with the man.

 

Felix sighs, heart racing at at the thought of so many people seeing him, watching his every move, _judging_ him. He's spent so long being relatively hidden that the thought of being in such a public place scares him. Nayeon, being much more exposed to the public eye, is a natural, not like he is. "Very well, my King."

 

He just hopes that nothing will go wrong.

 

_______

 

Ever since the day break, Minho has been talking the ears off of Changbin about this jousting match and whatnot, making moves with an imaginary sword and pretending that he's battling it off with a contender.

 

"It'll be amazing, just seating down there and betting on which knight is better," Minho excitedly chatters early that morning, somehow convincing Changbin to tag along, with Chan at their back. The two older males knew that something was up with their friend, knew that something seemed _off_ with how sad their friend looked recently.

 

"You're just bloody greedy for coins," Chan jokes, staring at the peachy orange shade that the sunrise emits. 

 

"Says _you_ , betting for anything you can lay your hands on," Minho retorts. "Highly hypocritical, if you ask me."

 

Chan and Minho keep talking up until they reach the central arena, which takes them some time. The air has this distinct feeling of life, and even Changbin, who is too caught up in his thoughts about a certain male, can appreciate that. 

 

When they enter with their tickets, Minho gets him, Chan and Changbin seats at the upper middle area of the east side, which he claims has the best view, and where most of the betters are. Minho and Changbin seat down, reserving a seat for Chan while the oldesr of them gets them their food and other recreationary things. 

 

The atmosphere is far from silent, and it seems everyone is on their edge of their seats, talking and laughing with each other about trivial topics. Many people are around too as the knights get ready in their stations, and Changbin finds his eyes glazing over the heads of the people present, trying to see if he can spot a certain son of a lord anywhere around him. If he does it will be the first time seeing Felix in broad daylight, and the thought alone makes Changbin's heart skip a recognizable beat.

 

Before the announcer can proclaim that the competition's about to start, Minho nudges Changbin's shoulder, and the younger snaps out of his thoughts. It seems the townspeople around them have gotten _louder_ , if possible, and as Minho directs his hand towards the people taking their positions at the most important seats in the whole arena, Changbin figures out why.

 

"Princess Nayeon looks beautiful, as always. And- _oh_ , is that the young prince?" Minho gushes, eyes not leaving the princess, her dress her shade of dazzling emerald green. A select few men who appear as princes also take their seats, along with the respected King and a few royal servants. From where he, Minho and Chan seat, Changbin has a fairly good view of the royals who decided to pay a visit to this match today.

 

He's about to look away when the copper coloured hair of one of the males catches his eye. The more he stares, the more familiar the boy currently seating close to princess Nayeon looks, and when the announcer starts to speak it's when everything clicks into place.

 

Changbin's heart won't stop racing as the first set of knights show themselves to the huge crowd of people. His eyes refrain from leaving _Felix's_ face, excitement and shock and betrayal flowing through him. Although the boy-who was actually the _prince_ this whole time-looks prim and proper and so, _so_ beautiful in his royal purple get up, fabric fitting him in all the right places, hair done and simple yet classy jewellry hanging off his two ears, Changbin can't help how bothered and angry he feels because of Felix's lie. He can't believe the boy had lied to him all this time about who he actually was.

 

Changbin remembers all their previous conversations, how reluctant Felix had been to share parts of his private life with him. The older boy didn't blame him then, because not all people can share everything with another person they've just met, and to say it's false would be extremely hypocritical, but Changbin would've appreciated Felix being a little bit more _honest_ with him. He really would have.

 

At this point, Changbin only pays half attention to the jousting knights and their game, this feeling of hurt not ever leaving him. He also feels something close to unbelief, because he had been unknowingly talking to an actual prince this whole time, someone who was of high value and who Changbin's kind could not associate with because of the many consequences that would follow.

 

When the competition is done, Changbin does not hesitate in leaving the arena, not having the heart to look at Felix any longer.

 

_______

 

Despite his mind telling him not to attempt heading to the Leian river tonight, Changbin's heart undoubtedly wins and he leaves his house, even though he is not even sure if Felix will be here this night.

 

He doesn't cease his steps until he is within the area, that fire in his heart present, and when he sees Felix sat on his favourite rock, eyes staring at the river, that fire grows and he keeps walking.

 

"Felix," Changbin says, tone cold. In an instant, Felix looks up, surprise mixed with longing at seeing Changbin there. He stands, shortening the space between him and the older boy, but before he can speak Changbin cuts him off. "I saw you this morning."

 

At first, Felix's eyebrows furrow in confusion, and then his eyes soften as he realizes what Changbin is talking about. He looks away. "Changbin, I..."

 

"You what?" asks Changbin. "What do you want to say? That you didn't mean to let me know that you were a prince this whole time? That you're sorry that you lied to me?"

 

Felix faces him once more. "I _am_ sorry, Changbin! I'm so sorry that I lied to you about who I really was-"

 

"Then why didn't you tell me you were a prince the first time I asked?" Changbin questions, voice betraying how bothered and hurt he really is because of Felix's actions, "When you asked me about myself, I didn't lie or make fibs. I actually trusted you, and I thought you trusted me too."

 

"I _do_ trust you Changbin," Felix replies, voice breathy, "I just-I just didn't want you to leave or stop being my friend because of who I am related to." His hands find Changbin's own, gently lacing them together. "I didn't want you to be afraid of me..."

 

"I-I wouldn't have reacted like you thought I would," Changbin says, pulse racing at his and Felix being in such intimate contact. "I'm not like that. I wouldn't leave you."

 

Felix steps closer as the wind dances with the leaves of the trees around them, and doesn't react or flinch when Changbin's right hand finds itself stroking his lower lip. "...I thought you really would. I can't imagine you leaving, not...not after we've spent so much time together."

 

"I won't leave," Changbin repeats, completely genuine. The moon's light seems more vibrant and the stars more plentiful the minute Changbin's hands hold Felix's waist in place as he leans in, placing his lips on the taller's own. The hesitance he displays with the kiss reveals how unsure and apprehensive he is about partaking in this action, but then Felix's arms wrap around his shoulder and he kisses him back with even more _passion_ than Changbin had ever seen him possess.

 

Changbin, instincts laid bare, pulls Felix even closer to him, his lips moving eagerly against Felix's soft pair. Felix's hands, his touches, lips, and his whole being leave Changbin so, _so_ warm and satisfied and amazing. Felix makes his heart race who no end in sight, because he'd never imagined kissing this beautiful boy like this, in this _way_ , but here he is. 

 

His fingers trail over Felix's cheek and jaw, and the taller leans further into him, melting at the touch.

 

Both of them know they're not supposed to be doing this, not supposed to possess the feelings they possess for each other, especially not for this day and age, but tonight, all caution has been pushed out the window, the only thing focused on and worth acknowledging being each other.

 

"Changbin..." Felix whispers as they pull apart for oxygen, breaths intermingling, "I don't want to leave you."

 

Now, Felix's words hold a deeper meaning, one that Changbin picks up on. He embraces the younger boy in a hug, sealing the events that happened tonight between them with a promise.

 

"...And you won't."

 

_______

 

All through the remainder of the week, Felix and Changbin meet, their feelings for one another growing deeper than before.

 

The Leian river has become something sort of their private spot, the place they can get to spend time with one another without feeling like they are doing something wrong; something _forbidden_. Whenever they meet they always leave in high spirits, full smiles and tender hearts. And as they spend more time together, they get to know one another even more. Changbin tells Felix about his mother and where he lives, and Felix tells him about life in the palace and how his sister's engagement is going.

 

Tonight, Felix brings along a bag that has an extra set of clothes, something he already informed Changbin to bring too about a few days prior. He drops the bag on the ground when he meets Changbin, unable to hide his eager smile. 

 

"I'm sorry you had to wait a bit for me," Felix tells Changbin as the shorter's arms snake around his form, "I had to make sure I had to look like I had been sleeping for some time before I left the castle tonight."

 

"It's okay, Felix," Changbin responds. The younger's eyes sparkle as he flits his hand over the side of his face, before poking his freckled cheek. Felix laughs at this, not minding in the slightest when Changbin _kisses_ him. When they pull away, the older asks, "So, you said we are going to do some swimming today, right?"

 

"Yes," Felix replies. "I am sure the water is not that cold. The problem is I do not know if you can swim or not."

 

Changbin gently flicks Felix's forehead. "Of course I can swim."

 

Felix gives a little clap that Changbin finds immensely endearing. When they rid themselves of their shirts and are both almost submerged by the coolness of the river, Felix does not hesitate to cup some water with his palms and splash it on Changbin's unaware self, just like how he did when they first met.

 

"I do not think splashing equates to swimming," Changbin lets out, but his bright smile doesn't leave his face. Felix just shrugs, laughing out loud when Changbin steps closer and hugs him with his wet arms. The prince's body feels as warm as ever, along with the blush blooming on his skin and the adoring way he's smiling at Changbin at that second. 

 

"Your arms are cold," Felix speaks out, but makes no move to espcape Changbin's hold. He rests his arms above the older's shoulders, as they sway lightly.

 

Changbin's eyes won't look away from him. "And yet you don't leave."

 

Felix pushes some of Changbin's dark and damp hair behind his ear in order to see his eyes better, and in the process their lips meet once more, and this time they stay, moving insync against the other's, the Moon's eyes watching over them.

 

With them together like this, Changbin feels like everything will be alright, because Felix is with him.

 

_______

  
_Felix must think me for a fool,_ King Hyunsik thinks later the next morning as he contemplates over his son's recent behaviour inside his chambers. Of course, he has noticed how queer Felix has been acting lately, overly excited when night comes and retreating early inside his bedroom.

The King trusts his children, but being in rule over the years has taught him not to put his trust in other people that easily, and to rely on his instincts instead. And now, his instincts are telling him that something is surely going on.

It's easy to get a servant to do his bidding, and even easier when Felix ends up leaving his room that same night too.

_______

 

By the time Felix gets to the river that has become something akin to a second home for him, a smile easily makes its way on his face when he sees a familiar dark haired boy. Without thinking too much about it, he sits next to Changbin, purposely bumping their shoulders.

 

When the ravenette looks at him butterflies manifest themselves inside his stomach. Felix is no longer too _scared_ or cautious of initiating physical contact with Changbin, as he splays his hands over the older's own, smile widening when Changbin makes no move to pull away.

 

"How was your day?" Felix asks, studying the older male's facial expression. Changbin's eyes are downcast, eyebrows furrowed and jaw tense. He intertwines his and Felix's hands further as he outwardly sighs and stares at the vast river. 

 

"...It was fine," Changbin decides on saying. His chest feels warm, his pulse not ceasing from beating so quickly. With Felix here so close to him, he can somewhat pretend that everything is okay, that everything is well. "Especially now that you are here."

 

Felix's thumb runs over Changbin's knuckles. "Today was a bit stressful, but I am glad I got to see you tonight." He looks at the older male once more and fights the urge to caress Changbin's cheek, to find a way to comfort the older. But he hesitates, not knowing how the dark haired boy will react to it. "...You do not seem fine. I'm worried."

 

Changbin's pinkish lips stretch into a small smile, and Felix tries not to run his fingers over his lips. "I'm not that well, actually."

 

"Are you sick?"

 

"No." Felix's dark grey shirt feels soft against his skin, and his short breaths comforting against his chest. His heart doesn't seem like it will cease its sprinting anytime soon. "My mother...She is sick. She has been for a while, getting constant headaches and having trouble breathing frequently. I...I do not want anything happening to her."

 

The sadness in Changbin's overall demeanor is apparent, and to sympathize with him Felix leans his head further on his chest, his arm wrapped around his torso. "I am sorry."

 

"You do not need to be, Felix."

 

" _No_ , I feel like I need to be," Felix presses. "Almost every night you're here with me, spending your time with me while your mother is more worthy of your attention. I _want_ to help, because I care deeply about you, so I care deeply about your mother."

  
Changbin pulls away and looks at the red haired boy next to him. "Felix-"

"I am sure there is something in the palace that can help your mother get better. Some herbs that will help headaches greatly," Felix cuts in, thinking out loud, "Nayeon drinks some type of tea at times when she gets her headaches, and when she does she feels better in a couple hours. I'll...I'll get them for your mother. I will, Changbin."

Changbin feels incredibly grateful because of Felix's words, and the feeling doubles when the taller looks at him with his determined gaze. To Changbin, Felix is a beautiful human inside and out, and sometimes he feels like he is undeserving of his love. "Thank you, Felix."

"You are welcome." Felix tells him. "To be honest, your happiness has become my priority now. You make me _happy_ , happier than I have ever felt in months. Being with you makes me feel amazing, makes me feel _natural_. I love everything that you do and stand for."

"Me too," Changbin mirrors, sparks igniting at Felix's fingers running over his in unpredictable movements. "I've become increasingly happier just with you being there and seeing you."

As they both stare at the fishes floating about in the generally undisturbed river, they feel like they are in their own world; a place only known to them and them alone. The stars plastered on the skies are like several diamonds, and it forms an astounding sight to behold. Changbin feels invincible with Felix right here, right next to him.

The gradually decreasing temperature causes little goosebumps to erupt across Changbin's arms, along with _something_ else. Something else that he cannot decipher clearly. When Felix looks up at him, his gaze, lips and touches both alluring and inviting, Changbin hesitates in giving in and capturing the prince's lips with his. Tonight, at this specific moment, it does not feel right.

He can tell by Felix's slight furrow of his eyebrows that he's confused, and a bit worried about Changbin's unfamiliar actions.

"Changbin-" Felix starts, turning to face the older boy more squarely. It is obvious Changbin is uneasy, eyes darting every which way every second.

"I do not feel comfortable doing this." Changbin's breaths are uneven. He can tell by Felix's confused and almost hurt gaze that his words greatly tampered with his previously joyous mood, so he adds, "It's just-there's this strangeness in the air."

"What do you mean?"

"I..." Changbin's eyes flicker over to Felix's, "I feel like we are not the only ones present around here."

"Well, other animals live here," Felix jokes, but that doesn't stop his heart from feeling heavy with worry. His eyes scan his and Changbin's surroundings, and for a few high-strung moments, nothing can heard except for his pulsating, loud heartbeat. Then, the heavy air around them dissipates and it seems that whatever could have been out there has disappeared. Still, it does nothing to calm Felix.

It causes a certain feeling of change, one that is not welcomed in the slightest, to well up inside the prince's chest, and he bites his lip, loose strands of his hair tickling his cheeks. He runs his hands through them to get them out of the way, and shakes his head, leaning closer to Changbin. "It is nothing."

He refuses to accept that this safe space that he's created with the only boy he can imagine loving _this_ way, this _wonderland_ , has become invaded, shattering bit by bit. Even the thought of it makes him feel incredibly agitated, so he holds on to Changbin in hopes that the older boy could somehow make everything feel alright and in place.

This time, Changbin wastes no time in engulfing Felix with his arms, head placed on one of his shoulders. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I did not mean to make you nervous, my prince."

Felix chuckles, rolling his eyes at Changbin's choice of words. "It's just _Felix_ to you. I like it when you call me by my name."

" _Felix_ ," Changbin whispers, "Felix, Felix, Felix..."

Felix giggles, then turns around after a couple seconds and shortens whatever space his and Changbin's lips may have had moments prior. The feeling of their lips pressed against one another's is sweet and fufilling; beautiful and undisturbed. Phenomenal. Like second nature.

With him and Changbin alone like this, cradled by the light from the stars, with the calm river and the great moon as their main audience, Felix figured out at that period of time what it meant to truly feel _alive_ , to truly be _himself_.

 

And it's a feeling he won't want to trade even for the world.

 

_______

 

After what must have been Felix's millionth time thinking about Changbin's lips on his that strangely cool morning, the door to the prince's room opens and the King surprisingly steps in.

 

His presence is shocking, unexpected, and makes Felix immediately stiffen up and rise to his feet. 

 

"F-Father," Felix greets, clearing his throat and forcing himself to maintain eye-contact with the intimidating stare of the man. "...What brings you here this morning? Are... are we having breakfast together earlier than usual?"

 

The man does not bother closing the door as he heads over to where Felix is, his eyes not leaving his face for one second. 

 

"You have a lot of nerve, you imprudent, dishonest child," the King says, voice low as his steely gaze burns through the whole of Felix's face. The prince can't stop himself from looking at the shiny floor, gathering from his expression that he looks exactly as frightened and as anxious as he feels. "I thought I told you that you should be in your bed asleep before midnight."

  
"I am in bed before that time, Father," Felix says, saying in the most convincing tone he can muster.

"Lying is one of the worst sins you can commit," the King spits, stepping even closer to his son. Felix tries not to take a step back. "As well as sneaking out, going against my orders, and meeting up with some commoner boy behind my back!"

Felix's shaking hands fist the material of his attire, a fear so great consuming his whole being that he almost staggers backwards off his feet. He quickly looks at his father and shakes his head. "My King, I-"

The stinging pain that sharply blooms across his cheek afterwards as the result of his spoken words catch Felix off-guard, and he looks back at the ground, eyes watering at the hurt and anger welling up inside him.

" _Be quiet_ ," King Hyunsik sneers, hands clasped behind his back and his frown deepening. "You thought you could hide what you were doing for long, thought I wouldn't find out about you and that boy, about how you let him touch you with his _filthy_ hands. He is not even worthy enough to be your friend, yet you let him hold you and treat you like one would to their _lover_. An absolute _b_ _lasphemy_. Something I cannot even wish upon my greatest enemy!"

The King is so close to Felix now, and Felix keeps his gaze downcast, hands tremouring as he is unable to blink back his tears.

"You are lucky I am your Father, so much so that I will spare you from any consequence as the result of your unspeakable actions yesterday night. You are prohibited from leaving this palace, I will _ensure_ of it, and if you decide to disobey once more, you will think I am no longer your father."

King Hyunsik leaves the room not too long after, slamming the doors, and Felix feels like the spaceous room's walls have grown smaller, so small in fact, that he feels like he cannot breathe. His legs feel weak, unable to take his whole being, and he falls to his feet, hugging his knees as uncontrollable tears leak from his eyes. He feels claustrophobic inside this place that he once felt safe in, breaths coming out in irregular intervals. Felix's chest hurts as he continues to cry. He's frightened, and worried about Changbin, blaming himself over and over again because it's because of him that the King has become like this. He doesn't know what he would do with himself if something bad happened to Changbin because of him.

_Changbin, I am so sorry,_ Felix thinks, almost choking on his sobs. Knowing his father, there is a high chance that guards have now been ordered to watch his every move and ensure that he doesn't try sneaking out. _I'm so sorry_...

Felix has no concept of time any longer, feeling as if the world is against him the more time he spends inside his room that has become his prison, unaware of what is going on around him, unaware of whether Changbin is safe or not.

When his room is submerged inside a cloaked darkness, Felix does not move from his spot on the ground, eyes red and raw from crying too much, wondering why it was such a crime being with someone like Changbin, someone who made him happy. Even if it was wrong in the eyes of everyone else, Felix wanted to spend his whole life with the older male by his side.

Felix barely registers as the door to his room abruptly clicks open and closes, barely takes note of someone's arms around him as they bring him to his bed, seating the both of them there. The person's hold is comforting and warm, hands stroking over Felix's own to calm down his frenzied state.

"Felix? Felix, stop crying, please."

At the sound of Nayeon's quiet, yet firm voice, Felix finds his resolve breaking even further. It is not the first time his sister has seen him cry, yet this is the first time he's looked so utterly broken in the act.

Nayeon's warm hands wipe away the tears lingering under his eyes like a mother would to her young child, and doesn't complain when Felix rests his head on her shoulder, body language defeated.

"Felix, you shouldn't cry, okay? I-I heard our Father. I-Everything will be okay, alright?"

Felix shakes his head. "It won't be. And it's-it's all my fault."

"It's not."

"I became too careless. I didn't think properly, and _now_ ," Felix's voice breaks, not even caring that his sister now _knows_ , "now he will get hurt, w-which I just cannot bear. I won't be able to bear it if he gets hurt, Nayeon. I-I just _wouldn't_ be able to."

"We will get it fixed, Felix," Nayeon quickly replies, tone almost pleading. "So stop crying, _please_. It's hurting me. I do not want you to worry yourself."

But Felix can't bring himself to listen to his sister, his mind unable to stop thinking about Changbin. This is all his fault.

"I want you to eat dinner with me and Woojin tonight," Nayeon says, "please."

"I do not have the appetite," Felix snifs, wringing his hands together, a nervous habit. "I'm not in the mood to face anyone today, Nayeon."

Nayeon looks at his brother, at his red and tear-stained freckled cheeks and slightly trembling lower lip, and lifts up his chin so he has no option but to look back at her.

"Everything will be fine, Felix. Do not make this incident take away your zeal and happiness."

But Felix knows it won't be, at least not now. He wipes the remainder of his tears away, and now that the tears have subsided he is left with this feeling of numbness instead. It weighs him down, almost crushing him, and it feels unbearable. "...I won't."

________

 

The ache inside Felix's chest never leaves him even after a full day has passed. He discards his pillow that morning, which has been drenched from his tears, and gets off his cold, lonely bed with much effort. 

 

Even after getting the ink, paper and feather set in place, Felix's dominant hand will not stop its tremours, making any sort of writing difficult.

 

Even so, Felix forces himself to write, fearing that he'll lose his sanity if he doesn't, and once he starts, his eyes water up once again.

 

_I am sorry, Changbin. So incredibly sorry that I was not around yesterday night. My father, he found out about where I go to meet you, about us, and I am so sorry._

 

_I am currently prohibited from leaving the palace, but I miss you so much. So, so much, Changbin..._

 

_Not having you at all in my life hurts more than any kind of physical pain. I do not want to lose you._

 

Felix hesitates, biting on his lip hard enough to draw blood if he tried, fingers trembling as he writes his next words.

  
_I think I am in love with you, Changbin, and that alone makes it so unbearable to even think about you getting hurt, or not being safe and secure._

_This is all my fault, but please be alright, for me._

_Surely,_ _this is not the end of us, because I will meet you again, no matter how long it takes. I swear this on my life_.

No matter what may happen to him if he gets caught, Felix places his now folded letter in the small satchel attached to one of the palace's messanger pigeons, and when the bird flies off, Felix goes back to bed, that growing feeling of numbness latching on to him once more.

_______

 

Changbin doesn't reply, but this does not dissuade Felix from sending more letters as the days pass by and as his strained relationship with his father the King becomes even more cracked. 

 

King Hyunsik barely speaks a word to Felix, being uncharacteristically silent about everything lately, but Felix is too emotionally drained to pay attention to his father's behaviour. 

 

During those days and nights Felix spends in his room without Changbin by his side, holding him and talking to him and kissing him, he refrains from speaking to anyone-even Nayeon, his beloved older sister.

  
It bothers her, and it hurts Felix too because of his estranged behaviour to his sister, but it isn't like he can help it.

When the half of someone is missing there is no chance of them functioning normally unless they have that half back.

_______

 

When the sky is so dark that it almost puts the moon's light to shame, Felix is brought back into reality and out of dreamland when his sister's lowered voice calls out his name.

 

"Felix, please wake up," Nayeon says, dressed in a dark, simplistic cloak that almost conceals her features. 

 

Felix's eyes blink open, taking her form with lethargic surprise. "Nayeon, what-what are you doing here-"

  
Nayeon puts her finger on her lips, shutting him up. She passes a black hooded cloak to her brother. "Hurry up and put this on. You don't have much time before the next set of guards patrol around your room."

Felix's eyes are wide as he clutches the soft material with his hands. "Nayeon..."

"Father is asleep. You know how he gets after he drinks with his guests." Nayeon shoots her brother a small smile. "No matter what my father says...I will not support him on this case. Your happiness matters to me, and if that boy, if _he_ makes _you_ happy, then I will help you get to him."

"Nayeon," Felix gratefully mutters as he pulls his sister in for a hug, "thank you..."

"Anything for you," Nayeon tells Felix. "I know a way out of the palace that the least amount of guards patrol. I will get you out, and just leave the rest to me, okay?"

With this, Nayeon leads Felix out of his room, closing the door and pulling Felix with her through the darkened hallways with quick, yet quiet footsteps.

Luckily, they do not come across any guards or servants that will blow their cover, and when they exit the palace using that path, Nayeon quickly hugs her brother and gestures towards the shrubbery at the front with her fingers.

"Enter and move as fast as you can. You will find your way soon after," she instructs, and Felix nods, still in a state of unbelief that this is actually happening.

Felix runs, heart beating so quickly that he fears it will jump out of his chest, and enters the shrubbery, hiding himself from any outside eye. He continues moving, cold wind beating against his clothes and face, but he does not care about that at the moment.

He decides on not visiting the Leian river tonight because he has a feeling Changbin will not be there, and instead heads into the town nearby that holds Changbin's house.

Fortunately, Changbin had showed Felix his house, a layered and brick structured building with a strong exterior, during one of their earlier visits, and the prince does not hesitate in going there.

To his surprise, and joy, Felix finds Changbin seated outside his dwelling, and upon seeing the older boy his heartbeat accelerates.

His eyes sting with a few tears of elation, especially when Changbin's dark brown eyes meet his. His feet guide him towards Changbin while the other looks frozen.

"Felix," Changbin says his name, voice noticeably raspy and soft, very unlike his usual way of speaking.

"I-" Felix stammers, unable to hide the happiness he feels as he bends down to seat beside the shorter male, "Changbin-I'm...I'm so glad I met you tonight."

Changbin's eyes stare at his hands, which are currently clutching the fabric of his pants like its a lifeline. "That's good."

"D-Did you get my letters?" Felix asks, wanting so badly to hold Changbin's hand in his. "I was-I was worried you were hurt-"

"Felix," Changbin cuts the prince off, "you shouldn't have come here tonight."

Felix blinks, heart sinking. "I-I wanted to _see_ you, Changbin."

"I don't think you should," Changbin states, looking everywhere but at Felix, "I think you should never see me again. Please leave."

"Changbin-"

" _Leave_ , Felix!" Changbin repeats, fists clenching. "I never want to see you again."

Felix grabs one of Changbin's hands, and the older doesn't have it in him to yank his hand away. "You-You don't mean that."

"I do."

"S-Something happened to you, Changbin. Did you get hurt?" Felix asks, pleading with the black haired male. " _Please_ , tell me. Is there something wrong?"

"I don't want you here anymore, Felix. I'm sorry. Please leave me alone and move on with your life."

"I don't want to leave you," Felix begs, and despite the older's protest, he pulls him in and wraps his arms around his shoulders, hugging him. Changbin tries to push him away, tears wetting the younger's cloak. "Please don't tell me to leave you. A-Anything but that..."

"Felix," Changbin whispers, head resting against the crook of Felix's neck, "y-you're hurting me."

"I don't want you to leave me," Felix says, unable to get rid of his own tears too as Changbin pushes himself away from his grasp.

"My mother is _dead_ , Felix."

"I'm so sorry, Changbin-"

"And it's all your f-fault," Changbin exclaims, removing his hands when Felix tries to hold them again. "It's all your fault, Felix! It's your fault for making me fall in love with you!"

"Changbin..." Felix begs, "don't do this."

Tears gush down Changbin's face when Felix kisses him, and no matter how much he wants to push the prince away and tell him to get out of his sight, he doesn't. Instead he leans in and kisses Felix back as warmth ignites within him, the taller's hands trailing down his back, and that is when he unintentionally hisses.

Felix hears this and quickly pulls away. "Changbin."

"It's nothing," Changbin coldly tells him, but he makes no move to push Felix away when the prince's nimble fingers pull up his shirt to reveal his back, almost too nervous to see what lies underneath.

Harsh, almost angry red lines are plastered on Changbin's back, deep enough to inflict serious pain, and definitely deep enough to form scars in the long run. They're boldly made, the irritated red colouring Changbin's canvas of skin.

"Oh god." A lump rises in Felix's throat at witnessing them, and he gently places his hands on Changbin's back as if his touch could get rid of all those lines and all the pain. Both anger and sadness flare within him at what is obviously is the cause of his father's doing. He becomes furious at the man and at the world for being such the way it is. "I-I am so _sorry_ , Changbin."

"It's already done," Changbin's tone is as defeated as he looks, pulling Felix's fingers off his back.

"I _will_ come back, Changbin," Felix assures. "And when I do I will help you relieve your back and make it not hurt as much." He lets his hand stroke Changbin's cheek. "I promise."

Changbin lets his gaze fall. "...Alright."


	3. Chapter 3

Nights then without Felix were lonely, filled with nothing but overwhelming numbness and sparse goosebumps on Changbin's skin as he stared out his window, uncaring for the bone-chillingly cold wind that beated against his skin.

Nights now without Felix are sad, and even though Changbin tells himself he should not be for someone who—unintentionally—has caused him emotional and physical turmoil, he cannot prevent himself from missing Felix. The dark night is more void than usual, more quiet, more manacing. Even the moon has seemed to disappear behind the folds of starry sky, leaving nothing but a bitter trail of darkness in its wake.

At this present moment, Changbin feels as if he has no one. His mother is no longer alive, ever since the passing of last week, and after that there has been nothing but intolerable silence and pain. His friends have tried talking to him, have tried cheering him up and lifting up his spirits, but Changbin shuts them all out. He refrains from talking to them and letting them know of what had happened to him.

Changbin hates it when he's like this, because no matter the pain and mind-numbing anguish he feels, he still waits for Felix to come back; still waits to see Felix again because he is still blindly in love with him. He finds it detrimental to his well-being to feel this _deeply_ for someone who he obviously does not _deserve_ , and who he can not have as his own, but he cannot change who his heart chooses to love that easily, even in the face of dire consequences.

He still remembers it; the exact position he met his mother inside his room, on his bed, a single unfolded letter in her limp hands, a group of other ones scattered next to her. He remembers the look of utter defeat, pain, sadness, and _disappointment_ , etched on her withered face, grey hairs appearing even whiter than before as her watery eyes meet his. And that is when he realizes that she _knows_.

It is a few days before her death that she tells him she was sorry. Sorry for giving birth to him, for not being a good enough mother and for making him grow up like this, for making him live in a place that they both knew would not allow Changbin to have his happy ending with the person he wants most.

Changbin did not shed any tears when she died, feeling too inconsolable at that moment to be able to. But now, as he thinks over his final moments with her, his chest uncontrollably heaves as rushed sobs leave his lips, shoulders tense and head hung. Despite being alone Changbin feels ashamed of being like this, and weak. He feels like he has no say in anything and it causes more tears to leave his eyes.

Someone knocks on his door at that moment, the sound causing Changbin's heart to leap, and he quickly stands—even though his back still aches badly—wiping at his eyes and wondering, even hoping, that it is somehow Felix behind that door.

He fights off whatever fear or caution he feels as he heads for the door to the main room, clicking it open to reveal a familiar taller boy with dark red hair and a darker cloak.

In an instant, Felix's arms wrap around him, embracing him in his warmth and sweet scent. His hold is secure around Changbin's neck, fingers running through the shorter's locks at a regular pace as he is careful not to let his hands linger on Changbin's back.

Changbin leans more into the younger's touch, even though his mind tells him to keep his distance; to stop making the prince witness his vulnerability. With Felix's arms holding him like this, he feels like he's found his anchor even when everything surrounding him is crumbling to ashes.

"Felix," Changbin draws out, "y-you shouldn't have come here."

"I promised I would—" Felix's arms don't stop hugging the older's neck as he pulls away to be able to watch Changbin easily "—And I do not go back on my promises."

"I don't want you to get hurt," Changbin mutters, and Felix quickly shakes his head, perplexed that the older boy is worried about _him_ when he is the one that is bearing the most pain.

"I am _fine_ , Changbin. Do not worry about me." Felix assures, and after he leans in and presses his lips against Changbin's own in a short but desperate kiss, one which Changbin equally returns, he and Changbin step inside the house while he reveals what he brought with him from the palace, which is a bag with two different containers in it.

"Nayeon and another trusted servant of mine—Jeongin—helped in getting them for you," Felix eagerly explains, gently ordering for Changbin to take a seat while he takes out the bottles. As Changbin does, taking off his shirt in the process with a little reluctance on his part, Felix rests behind him on the seat and opens the first one. "They're healing balms, from Barmark, Jeongin's mother country. He wanted to come here with me tonight to help me with this but I could not risk letting him getting seen and punished for doing nothing bad. He told me the basics of applying them though. This one gets rid of whatever bad stuff that would cause any infection, or something," Felix jests, smiling when Changbin chuckles a bit, and then coats his fingers with the oily, cool substance. Then he spreads it across the wounds on Changbin's back, causing the older's breath to hitch at the icy feeling Felix's touch exudes, but as Felix continues to rub at his back with his hands, making sure not to irritate the more sensitive areas, Changbin starts to experience the warmth and butterfly-shaped knots that he usually gets the minute Felix is there with him.

Suddenly, and very crudely aware of the situation he and the prince are in, the skin of his neck and cheeks grow flush.

"I don't think it is right for you to be doing this..." Changbin says, voice low but not indiscernible for Felix to hear. "You're—you're cleaning my wounds, something royals are practically _forbidden_ to do."

"I'm doing it because I _want_ to, Changbin. Seeing you hurt is the worst thing I can ask for..." Felix replies not too long afterwards, his exhales forming a trail of goosebumps down Changbin's exposed collarbone, making his heartbeat erratic. The prince applies the second balm, this one responsible for speeding up Changbin's recovery, and the older feels touched, and deeply enamoured with Felix the more time the taller spends taking care of _him_ , someone that is not deserving of any attention like this. He feels led to tears with what Felix is doing for him, not knowing why the prince has decided to risk his own well-being just to make sure that he is _okay_ and well.

By the time Felix is done with all this and encasing Changbin's torso with a tight, secure bandage, he doesn't wait until Changbin faces him before he hugs him from behind, arms around the shorter and unwilling to let go. Heat equating to sparks gush and pulsate throughout both males at the physical contact, and the only thing they hear is their unrelenting hearts beating fervently.

Changbin feels hot, Felix's tender lips grazing his neck in a chaste kiss. "I love you, Changbin."

"I love you, Felix," answers Changbin despite the thoughts gnawing at the back of his mind, _screaming_ at him to put an end to this while he can. But it's not that easy to do, because Changbin is in love with Felix, and his silly, _foolish_ heart wants nothing but for the both of them to spend forever together. It's almost surprising how Changbin's believes that he and Felix would be alright in the long run. As long as Felix is there, the darkness doesn't seem as daunting as it previously was, his worries not as plentiful. In this little bubble where he and Felix are free to be themselves, the harsh reality doesn't seem as vicious and threatening.

"I love you so much," Felix repeats, and Changbin's heart rate becomes even more irregular and outright insane. He continues, "I want us to be together."

"Me too. I want this as much as you do, _so much_ , but—" Changbin inhales a rushed breath, turning around to finally face Felix, "but a story like our's does not have a happy ending."

The heavy hands of reality tug and yank excessively at their bubble, trying and succeeding to remind the two boys from different classes in society of its unwanted presence.

Felix shakes his head, almost unwilling to let Changbin's words get to him. He entwines their hands, and Changbin's own trembles. " _No_ , Changbin. Do...Do not say that."

"But it's true." Changbin hates being like this, hates seeing the crestfallen look Felix's beautiful face currently holds at his words. His heart itself hurts at muttering them, but he can't help it.

"It's not," Felix refuses, pleading with the dark haired boy, "s-so stop saying that. Everything will be alright."

"It _won't_ be," Changbin spits, his frustration and sorrow pilling on top of him like a never ending well. "You're a _prince_ , and I'm just a lowly commoner. We can never be _anything_ outside these four walls. We can never let others know about how we feel about each other. We can never kiss or hold hands in public, or get married. It's useless thinking that things will be different for us, Felix."

"It doesn't have to be like this," Felix reasons, though it is clear that his resolve is breaking bit by bit. "We—we can still be together. I don't want to leave you." He rests his head against Changbin's bandaged chest. "A-As long...as long as your heart still beats this much for me, as long as we continue to love each other, there will always be a way. _Please_... do not b-break my heart."

Changbin lets his arms fall around Felix, carding his fingers through the younger's locks while the prince does not shy away from holding on to him like a lifeline. But at this moment, Changbin feels like _Felix's_ lifeline, someone to latch on to, someone who he trusts enough not to let him fall into the stormy, treacherous waves below.

And Changbin feels likewise.

_______

  
When Felix sees Changbin again later that week at his house, the prince's heart feels weighed down by worry. He laments, heart bleeding at how unfair and cruel this world is, especially for him and Changbin. His father the King has started to tighten his security on him, so much so that Nayeon tells him that this may be the last time he can get to see Changbin before their father catches on and punishes him and the older boy even more.

He brings his lips on Changbin's, and Changbin reciprocates, not even bothering to hide the tears that have escaped his eyes.

"I am so sorry," Felix cries on Changbin's shoulder, "I am afraid I cannot freely leave the palace anymore after today, Changbin..."

A lump grows within Changbin's throat, but he shakes his head, willing himself to be strong for younger boy. "It's alright, Felix."

"I'm just so _angry_ ," Felix sniffs, head placed on Changbin's chest. "I hate this. I-I hate this so much. Why—why can't I just love you without any repercussions or consequences?" He looks at Changbin, the older wiping away his tears for him, "Why can't I be with you without caring what anyone says? Without caring what my _father_ says? It's _not_ fair, it's not..."

"I know it's not," Changbin mirrors, "and I-I hate this as much as you do. But I don't want you to get hurt."

Felix's arms wrap around his shoulders, and their lips hungrily meet once more, heat and longing pooling at their insides as Changbin pulls the taller boy even closer to him. They can feel it; the excited racing of their heart cavity, the hotness that gushes through their veins as they become drunk off each other's presence. Their nerves are alive with electricity as Changbin's hands cup Felix's face, kissing him more passionately. Their breaths mix, causing this magnetic feeling inside them. Adrenaline crackles through their bodies like anxious waves crashing on a rocky shore.

Changbin's hands trail down Felix's sides and linger on his hips, their lips's fascination with each other and every dip and curve of their bodies as dangerous, effective and as addictive as inked venom injected into someone's bloodstream.

Felix revels in the way Changbin touches him, throwing out all second thoughts, worries and trepidation out the window. If they happen to go any further tonight, then so be it. Felix does not know when he'll get to see Changbin again after tonight, and, no matter how much it breaks him, he wants to spend as much time together with Changbin right now, at this present moment. He's never wanted anything more badly than he does this at this moment.

With the past already gone with the wind and the future shaky and uncertain, Felix clings unto the present with Changbin, as it is the only time frame that matters to him. With Changbin, everything seems timeless. Infinite. Endless. Time neither speeds nor slows down during this precious moment that both boys share with each other. With Changbin's touches and kisses leaving Felix all the more intoxicated, he is more convinced that maybe there is happiness left in store for him and the older boy after all.

_______

  
The freckles dotting Felix's pale skin are like a celebration of stardust and constellations painting the dark atmosphere at nighttime when Changbin opens his eyes early that dawn and drinks in the sight of the male next to him.

Felix is already awake, deep brown hues of his eyes sparkling and creasing with happiness once he sees that Changbin has opened his eyes now.

The silence that surrounds them is like static, pure and stagnant yet mildly chaotic until Changbin opens his mouth to speak. Then the silence stretches and shatters. "Felix, I...It is almost daytime—"

" _Shh_ ," Felix says, reaching over and running his thumb over Changbin's cheekbone. The collarbones that form his exposed shoulders and chest slightly dip as he performs this action. His shoulder-length reddish hair cascades down his face and frames it, and Changbin fights the urge to run his hands through the strands once again. Felix casts Changbin a wry smile. "Do not remind me that I have to leave soon..."

"I'm sorry," Changbin apologizes, voice soft and wavering like unstable ripples formed on a body of water.

Felix does not look mad, however. Even though their surroundings have brightened considerably compared to last night's secrecy, Felix still looks as heart-achingly handsome as he looked the previous night, and once again the reality of what they have done lingers at the back of Changbin's mind like an annoying pest.

"Do not be," Felix says. The space between the two boys on the bed decreases as the prince's breath ghosts over Changbin's lips. He adds, "I am glad we can spend this moment together. Sadly, I will have to leave very soon, but...just know I have never loved anyone but you this way."

This only makes things harder, but Changbin chooses not to take any of that to mind at that moment, and instead stops Felix from saying any more words by kssing him.

_______

 

Despite the King not knowing about Felix's most recent encounters with Changbin due to Nayeon's involvement, he does not hesitate in making sure his son will never partake in something that he considers an abomination ever again. He is a hard man, which Felix already knows, and even if he tells himself that he has prepared for the worst from the man, as days pass he grows increasingly afraid and restless.

  
When the last day of the year approaches, a huge feast is held in favour of the celebration of an upcoming new year, and several royal men and women from neighbouring kingdoms, who are already friendly with the Gelidian king, are invited.

At night, servants move every which way to make sure the decorations, food and drinks are in order while the guests' laughter and conversations do not cease, and even the King looks satisfied tonight. Everyone looks content except for Felix, and Nayeon flashes brief smiles at people here and there with her fiancé, Prince Kim Woojin by her side.

Felix forces himself not to display the storm of emotions parading inside him on his face, especially not when King Hyunsik's eyes glance over at him ever so often.

For the first half of the night, nothing noteworthy happens, and Felix chats a bit with some of the other guests with an unreal smile plastered on his face, which is a huge contrast with how sad he feels on the inside.

When it is a few minutes to midnight, the King calls the table to order, saying that he has something to announce. His dark brown eyes turn even darker as his smile widens, and the people grow quiet. Felix becomes uneasy with the silence; something that he used to treasure before with a certain boy, but now has come to loathe.

"I am pleased to announce the upcoming betrothal of my son, Prince Lee Felix with Princess Kim Baekhi, the second princess of the Siryian kingdom. Their engagement will be held later on this week, and they will be very pleased if you all attended," King Hyunsik says in a calm, steady voice, and Felix feels his surroundings slow and the sharp feeling of alarm coursing through him. He quickly looks up at his father, but the the man's eyes are focused on the other guests, his smile not leaving his face at the pleased murmurs that leave their lips. Some people look surprised at the King announcing this now, and wondering why they didn't know that the Gelidian prince has already chosen the princess he wants to marry.

The royal family of the Siryian kingdom look as pleased as the King, their rather young looking daughter too nervous to meet Felix's petrified eyes.

Nayeon stops eating, breaking her calm and unbothered demeanor in the process. It is also clear that King Hyunsik never told her about his plans either, and she looks at Felix, noticing the frozen state her brother is in. Prince Woojin, being the intuitive person he is, also catches on that something is not quite _right_ with the King's sudden announcement, especially with the way Felix and Nayeon are acting right about now.

Felix's hands are shaking under the dinner table, and when he looks up again, that is the moment he and the King lock eyes. The exchange is brief yet icily chilling, enough to pass the message from the king to his son that he has no choice in this matter and that in a few days he will be getting engaged to a princess he has never known before today.

Hearing words from outsiders about the true extent of King Hyunsik's wrath never really settled in with Felix until today. And now, underneath the extravagant interior of the palace, surrounded by happy faces and celebratory words, Felix has never hated his father more than he hates him today.

When the lights dim and everything reverts to its usual state of stiffening silence, Felix locks himself inside his room for the night, not even allowing his sister to enter when she wanted to check up on him. He can't face anyone when he feels like his entire being is seconds away from crumbling into tiny, unmendable pieces.

There is nothing more that Felix wants at this moment than to run away from everything, to disappear forever along with Changbin, so that he and the older boy can finally be together. Just the two of them.

Felix spends the night curled up on one side of his bed, feeling completely void.

_______

 

Felix has no way of learning about Changbin's well-being, and it eats him from the inside. It makes him worried and so, so scared. He is unable to sleep, and as a day painstakingly passes by, he feels caged and imprisoned within the four walls of his bedroom.

 

At midnight, he exits his room, not minding or caring for his tear-stained cheeks or the aching numbness picking at his core, not even taking five steps out of the area before he is cornered by three palace guards.

 

"Move," Felix orders, trying to get past them. They block his way.

 

"The King has ordered that you must be kept inside your room during this time of night," one of the guards reply, his knightly attire concealing whatever expression he might have at the moment.

 

"I said move!" Felix cries, trying to push them away as their hands grab unto him before he can make a run for it. "Leave me be!"

  
"I am afraid we cannot do that, my prince," one answers, and when he holds Felix's shoulder in place the prince thrashes about, smacking his and the other guards' hands away.

"Just leave me alone! Why can't you people leave me be?! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE LEFT ALONE?! WHY?!" Felix cries, still trying to push past the guards even though he knows he won't succeed. His whole being wants to leave this place, to see Changbin. He doesn't want to be here any longer, doesn't care if he appears insane or crazy in front of the three guards because of his outburst, or if he is causing a ruckus. He doesn't care about anything at all. He only wants to be with Changbin. "LEAVE ME!"

Someone shows up round the corner, but even then Felix doesn't register their presence as he continues to scream for the guards to let him go.

Felix's screams turn into pitiful pleas by the time the guards leave him, and someone else takes their place beside him, holding him intead. For a few seconds, Felix wonders if it is Changbin, but then he realizes that it's not possible even though he wishes it is.

The arm of his older sister leads him away from his room and the watchful eyes of the guards, and Felix is silent and tired when she brings him to her room instead.

"Sleep, Felix..." Nayeon instructs. "You should not waste your energy crying, it does not solve much." She brings her younger brother to the bed and makes him lie in it. "You are lucky it was I that came, instead of Father."

"I am sorry," Felix says, throat feeling hoarse. He doesn't even have the energy to move into a more comfortable position on his older sister's bed.

"You have no need to be," Nayeon replies, pulling a blood red linen blanket over Felix's exhausted form. She pauses, then says, "I'm sorry for what happened yesterday night."

"You mean my engagement with some princess I do not even know personally?" Felix bitterly chuckles, chest constricting painfully at the thought of getting married to someone he doesn't love.

"Although the King is our Father, I often do not agree with his choices," Nayeon says, seating herself down at the edge of her bed. "It was very wrong of him to announce your engagement to everyone without your agreement or consent. And all...all because of who you happened to be fond of."

Felix frowns at the mention of Changbin, mood worsening. "It—It is just unfortunate..."

Nayeon is silent for a while, but then she asks her brother how Changbin is like, to his surprise.

"Tell me about him," Nayeon encourages, "to make you feel better. I also want to know who he is."

"W-Well," Felix stammers, staring anywhere but at Nayeon's face, "his name is Changbin. I... first met him many moons ago at the Leian river, and we started to talk and then we became friends." Felix replays the first times he and Changbin talked, recollects how the older male made him laugh, how he made him happy. He thinks back to the time they first kissed and the nostalgia leaves him bitter and sadder than ever before. "We—we started to like each other more afterwards. W-We both knew we shouldn't have in the first place because of the predicament we were both in, but...we still fell in love anyway."

The moon's pale rays emitted from Nayeon's window lit up her frame, showcasing her concerned facial expression. "...And how did it feel?"

Felix meets her eyes. "It...it felt like the most natural thing in the world."

_______

  
Changbin gets alarmed, wisps of the bitter morning air consuming his lungs as he gets off his bed, hearing quiet but hurried knocks on his home's door.

For a brief moment, he thinks that it is Felix that has come to see him, but that seems highly unlikely because the last time the prince was with him, he informed the older boy he would not be able to see him for much longer. This makes the ravenette fearful, but what if it is the palace guards that are out his door, waiting for him to come out? But then again, if they were here to take him prisoner, they wouldn't wait for him to answer the door.

Changbin tries to steady his erratic heartbeat as he reaches out for the door to open it up.

Outside, standing within the dimly lit area that is early daytime, is someone unfamiliar and covered with a hooded cloak. They turn around as soon as the door opens, pulling down their hood in their process. A thin, nervous looking girl with light brown hair stares at Changbin with wide eyes, and the boy is immensely confused with her presence, yet relieved that it isn't who he was expecting.

"Yes...?" Changbin asks, and she looks startled, yet takes a step closer to the male.

When the distance between them is lessened, she hands over a carefully concealed letter to Changbin. "A personal message from Princess Nayeon to you," she relays, and Changbin fugures that she must be one of the palace's maids. "She says not to be afraid, and not to reveal the contents of this letter to anyone."

Changbin stares at the letter, nodding at the girl as she immediately turns around and heads back into the direction in which she came from.

Despite the princess telling him through the servant that he shouldn't feel afraid, Changbin still cannot help it as he enters his house. He contemplates opening up the letter now or waiting later, but then goes with the former option. When he opens the letter, careful not to accidentally spoil the contents inside, he sees the princess's perfectly cursive writing sprawled out on the paper.

_Do not be afraid, Changbin. It is I, Princess Nayeon, and I wrote you this letter to let you know that you should not worry any longer._

_I am aware of your feelings for my brother, and aware of his for you, and I do not hate you for it. In fact, I want you and my brother to be happy._

_However, what I am planning might be tricky, and it all depends on whether you are ready to risk everything to have the ending with Felix that you so rightly desire._

_Whatever you read next in this letter must never leave your lips to tell anyone else, or else it will only be to your detriment, Changbin_.

_______

  
"What is it that you want to talk to me about, Nayeon?" King Hyunsik asks his first child when they are seated for dinner that chilly evening. The dining hall is lit up in auburn hues, with several shades of warm brown that Nayeon's white night dress looks out of place with its interior lighting. "It is not usual that we gather alone for dinner."

"Well, Prince Woojin is at his own kingdom currently, ...and my brother is too unwell to eat tonight," Nayeon replies, staring at the bearded man seated at the foot of the table. The wide array of food in front of them on the table is plentiful, of course, but Nayeon is not in the mood tonight to ingest anything.

At the mention of Felix, King Hyunsik's smile dampens. His eyes narrow. "He will have to be well sooner than later then, because his engagement with Princess Baekhi is in a few days."

"Yes. He will have to be," Nayeon forces out an agreeable smile, cautiously taking one of the wine bottles and pouring some in her father's wine glass. "More wine, Father?"

"Yes Nayeon. Although, it is not you who is supposed to pour it for me. I have servants for that," the King replies, in the process of calling one of the maidens the palace when Nayeon herself politely interruptes him.

"Actually, the matter I want to discuss with you is not one that servants need to hear," Nayeon says, biting into some meat from her plate to at least distract herself from the nerves ebbing away at her body.

"What is it, Nayeon?" The King asks, looking eager to hear what she has to say. "Do not take much time, dear, as I have other maters to attend to tonight."

"Father." Nayeon's tone turns icy and emotionless. "I am afraid for my brother. I'm afraid because whatever you do to keep him and that _commoner_ boy apart, it just does not seem to work."

King Hyunsik's expression turns darker. "I warned the boy using specific means to make him stay away from my son, Nayeon. He will never lay his hands on Felix again."

"I'm afraid that isn't going to do it," Nayeon replies, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips set in a stern frown. "I do not think you can rid Felix of him, even if he is punished severely for his actions. And what if other people learn of this? What happens if they find out the prince of the Gelidan kingdom is involved with another boy in _that_ way? It will be absolutely horrendous. What will they think of us?"

It seems the King's jovial expression has left him, replaced with a slow burning anger and irritation. The wheels of his mind are turning, figuring out different ways to deal with the matter at hand. "...What do you suggest, Nayeon? I will not stand for this in my kingdom."

Nayeon takes a sip out of her own wine glass, taking that time out to carve out her next sentences properly.

"I suggest a public execution a few days before Felix gets engaged," she says cooly. "Frame the boy with partaking in something worthy of an execution, find eye witnesses, and when the execution is taking place," Nayeon pauses, "...make Felix be there. After this is done, he will never go against your commands ever again, my King."

The man is surprised, no doubt, but he takes Nayeon's suggestion into consideration. "...Very well, Nayeon. His death could also serve others as a reminder of what happens when someone disobeys my commands."

Nayeon's eyes fall on her plate, keeping her outward appearance calm and collected even when inside she is hoping with all her heart that this plan of hers won't backfire.

When dinner is over, Nayeon leaves the hall and spends her nightly hours using whatever source she can to spread a few 'messages' to a specific neighbouring kingdom, using her power as a future queen to make them swear on their life that they will never reveal it is her whomade them relay those messages.

When she passes Felix's room after she is done, she silently apologizes to him, feeling guilty that he will have to be left in the dark for most of the plan, and feeling sorry for the emotional turmoil he will have to go through very soon.

_______

 

It is three days before Felix's engagement that his world seems to crumble beneath him, not leaving him with anything to hold onto. Everything that Felix has been acquainted with so far has seemed to have left him in the dust, alone and cold and without any support of any kind.

 

When he learns of Changbin's public execution from his father, his knees buckle and he wants to scream, run away or do something; _anything_. He feels hopeless, his heart crushed and his world in shambles. He can't breathe, unable to rid himself of all the pain that he is going through, and unable to stop blaming himself for what is going to happen to Changbin. All this is his fault and his alone. 

 

Why, oh why, is this happening to them? Why is this cruel world so adamant on setting them apart, on seperating them? Why can't he just be with Changbin without any dire consequences involved? Now, Changbin is going to die, and no matter how hard Felix cries and wishes the older's life will be spared, he knows he has no power to change anything. 

  
When his father's mind is set on something, there is almost nothing that can change it. With him so set on making sure once and for all that his son and Changbin can never ever meet again, Felix finds himself pitifully unable to have a say in this matter.

Tomorrow, he will have no choice but to go and watch the boy he loves get executed before his very eyes. And there is nothing he can do about it.

_______

 

The skies seem to be holding in their tears when the following day comes. Felix feels stiff as he sits next to his sister at royal seats located inside the yard the execution will be held, guards surrounding them as usual.

 

He forces himself to look at his shaking palms that are clenching his knees, while Nayeon looks worried for him and the King listens as the excution begins. They're seated at a high pedestal, far away from some of the townspeople that have gathered to witness this public execution. 

 

There is silence for a while, but when the person that is getting executed steps out with an array of guards at their back, gasps of surprise leave some people's lips. 

 

Felix looks up then, and his heart drops at the sight of Changbin, the older's gaze downwards and unreadable as shackles hold his wrists in place, preventing him from attacking any of the guards the walk behind him if he has any thoughts of that. The skies seem darker now, with heavy, grey clouds covering the sun that is supposed to be present. 

 

People talk, the executioner speaks, but Felix's eyes don't leave Changbin. He can't rid himself of this sinking feeling that has consumed him. He almost wants to stand, he wants to stand up so badly, to run to Changbin's side and stop this madness. But, as if sensing his thoughts, the guards behind him move closer, and Felix wants to fight them all.

 

With Changbin already on a platform, inches away from a limp noose that will surely kill him once tightened and let go, his eyes meet with Felix's own across the yard. As if knowing just the true extent of what Felix is going through right now, he seems to be silently communicating to the distraught prince that everything would be okay, that he shouldn't cry, but Felix can't listen. He doesn't want to listen. He just wants all of this to stop; wants all of this to just be some horrible bad dream.

 

Changbin's head goes through the opening of the noose, trying not to let the fear he feels at this particular moment fill him whole. He can't bear looking at Felix's face any longer, hoping that all what Nayeon is planning will come to pass before he dies and loses the one thing he cares for the most.

 

The skies start to cry just as a couple guards responsible for ensuring the security of the kingdom of Gelida rush into the yard.

 

"Raiders from the Archian kingdom have started to invade the interiors!" One of them cries out just as it starts to rain, and the crowd goes into complete and utter disarray, knowing how dangerous the Archian Kingdom can be, especially once another kingdom has something they believe is rightfully theirs.

 

King Hyunsik quickly rises to his feet. "Get them to safety!" He shouts at the palace guards behind him, gesturing to Felix and Nayeon.

 

Nayeon wastes no time in bringing Felix with her, the guards following them. There is commotion on both sides, just as she's predicted. By now, she knows she will have to get her brother and Changbin to the outskirts. There is where Woojin's men are waiting.

 

The chaos and confusion are too great, and this easily makes Nayeon manoeuvre her frightened brother the opposite direction of where the guards are heading.

 

"N-Nayeon—" Felix starts, but she cuts him off.

 

"Felix," she hurriedly explains. "Just listen to my words, okay? This was all a set-up to drive the main focus from Changbin's execution to something else. Rumors about property stealing travel fast in the Archian Kingdom, so that is why they are here today. I will have to bring you to the outskirts before Father or the guards catch on. Some of Woojin's men have most likely taken Changbin with them by now."

 

Even with several questions buzzing through Felix's mind, he keeps his mouth shut and follows after his sister, ignoring the shouts and screams that are going on within the kingdom. It seems nothing short of a general war, and even with this Nayeon is determined to get her brother to the kingdom's border.

 

When they get there, a carriage with horses is already waiting in the dark green forests, and then the princess hugs her brother.

 

"You will follow them, and they will take you to a faraway outcast kingdom that you and Changbin will be able to start new lives. I'm afraid this is the most I can do, and I will ensure that I see you from time to time to ensure that you and Changbin are okay," Nayeon says, gently cupping her brother's cheek.

 

"I—Nayeon," Felix says, overwhelmed with emotion. He glances back at the carriage, finding none other than Changbin inside and two other men who are responsible to take them to the place. "You did this for me. For Changbin and I..."

 

"You don't have to thank me," Nayeon says, shaking her head. "I am sorry, however, for making you go through the execution thinking that Changbin will die. I just had to make sure the King believed that none of this was fake. In the meantime, you will have to give me your garment as it would be able to help me convince the King that you are now dead, along with Changbin."

 

Felix shakily nods, heart beating so quickly that it drowns out all the commotion surrounding him. He can't believe all this is happening. After he gives his sister what she needs, he worriedly adds, "I hope you will be safe, Nayeon."

 

"I will be, do not worry," she replies. "Now, go on. You and Changbin do not have much time. Remember, this is not the end, Felix."

 

When Felix enters the carriage, he leans against Changbin's side, the older's arms around him, and he is unable to stop the tears that roll down his face as Woojin's men start to drive them off.

 

Nayeon waves them off, before quickly disappearing, and Felix feels thankful for all what she has done for him and Changbin. 

 

"I love you so much," Felix whispers, head resting on the crook of Changbin's neck, inhaling the older's scent. "I thought I'd lose you forever."

 

"But you didn't," Changbin wipes off Felix's tears while the carriage covers more distance, the horses' hooves beating upon areas of dried grass as the carriage brings them away from the Gelidian border totally and into unknown and greener pastures. It makes Felix wary of what awaits them in the future, but for once, he is not afraid to face it, because here he is with Changbin by his side.

 

So when Changbin tells Felix that he loves him back, Felix realizes that as long as Changbin is there, as long as they are together, everything will be okay,

 

And they will have their happy ending.


End file.
